15 Things That Happen When You’ve Been In A Long-Distance Relationship (For What Seems Like Forever)

I feel for you, Delilah.
Screen Shot 2015-01-21 at 2.44.25 PM
Silvia Sala

1. You start looking at live-in couples with envious eyes.

Hm. Must be nice to go home together, sleep in the same bed, eat at the same table and not have to travel a million miles to see each other. But you’re not bitter! Not completely… maybe just a little.

2. You develop an unprecedented appreciation of every moment you get to spend together.

Demand is high; supply is low. It’s that simple.

3. You learn to manically cram activities into narrow blocks of time. 

When you have only two days together at a time, you become accustomed to shoving (or trying to shove) a week or month’s worth of stuff into a tiny little window. You make every single moment count – and still there’s never enough.

4. You realize the ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ idiom is beautifully true.

And it’s annoying and totally stupid all at the same time. You use it to comfort yourself, and when discussing your relationship with others – but really, you know that you’d still be damn fond of your partner even if you lived together in a tiny closet in the middle of nowhere. Your relationship, you’re sure, could flourish just fine without the absence. And yet you continue to say it.

5. You’re always looking forward to the next reunion and embrace. 

After weeks apart, you wrap each other in the tightest of squeezes – holding on as long as you can. You take in their scent, their feel. It’s memorable and special as hell – your own, genuine “Hollywood moment.”

6. … And counting, fearing and anticipating if someone’s menstrual cycle is going to crop up at just the wrong time.

You plan a visit weeks in advance to find – surprise! – the monthly magic decided to correlate ever-so-perfectly with your time together. Awesome.

7. You realize that becoming friends is easier when you can’t lose yourselves in one another’s lives. 

There’s this thing that often happens with normal couples: they become totally engrossed in their relationships, leaving old friendships to dry out – utterly neglected. For long distance couples, you couldn’t do this if you wanted to. You can head out for drinks with co-workers every night – no problem – it’s not like someone’s waiting up for you.

8. People never stop nagging you with questions: “Isn’t is so hard to be apart?!” 

Why do people feel so inclined to ask? Yes – for the hundred millionth time – it’s hard.

9. You keep track of the exact hours, days and weeks until you can be together, and they become as important as anniversaries and birthdays are to anybody else. 

Long distance couples etch bold, dare-you-to-ignore-me Sharpie hearts around every single day they get together. For us, the time between seeing each other is really just a countdown until the next lapse of togetherness.

10. Your life begins to revolve around “phone calls.”

And when you call each other, it’s to actually talk. You don’t get questions about the grocery list or demands to clean your hair out of the sink – it’s “How was your day?” filled with sincerity. It’s “I can’t wait to see you,” and you know that it’s true.

11. Three-day weekends are your personal holy grail. 

Who gives a shit (really) about President’s Day? Long distance couples do! Seeking any and every opportunity to see each other, a bonus Friday or Monday is absolutely fantastic.

12. You share one too many (shamelessly) tear-filled goodbyes.

Goodbyes are accompanied by a terrible, god-awful sinking feeling. And whether you’re parting for a week, month or year (in an airport, lobby or driveway) – it doesn’t matter. Your eyes explode, you blubber like an idiot and you don’t care at all who witnesses the breakdown.

13. The same few texts begin to frequent every conversation. 

“I miss you,” and “I wish you were here,” are prevalent members of your in and outboxes.

14. You begin to foster your dream of ‘someday.’

Together you craft a fantasy. “Someday,” you both say, will hold a shared dwelling, a blissful existence in which, when you talk about “home,” you’re referring to the same place – in the same state, in the same city, on the same street. You’ll see movies on weeknights and buy a dog for good measure. And. It. Will. Be. Great.

15. You realize that if masturbation is a sin, you’re going to hell.

Enough said. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog