I Fear Anxiety Is All I’ll Ever Know

I’m laying in bed
wishing I could pray

like a good Christian

but I’m tearing my ear drums
apart with music, away from reality

because I’m afraid

I’m scared of anything
and all things

that bang against
the veins of my heart

jolting fear all through me
and I’m scared

because I don’t want it
to wound my soul

once again

I don’t want to be in this pattern
of wanting to be wind in shadows

of the valley of death

I want to live
without the jaws of fear

and the bars of anxiety

but I fear that it’s a life
I’ll never know.