The Difference Between Being Desired And Wanted For Who You Are

As women we are programmed to have men come to us, or so I thought. We are brought up in a society where men make the approach. They take the lead, they ask for our number, takes us on dates and so there it begins. But what if this is not the way it should be?

What if being desired and being wanted as a person are two completely different feelings? For men, women are easily desirable. We are beautiful in our way, each and every one. They don’t seem to notice that extra 5 pounds or that makeup you have had on since 6am this morning. They see sex. They see beauty. They see desire. What if this is not what we want? What if this is different? Did we ever as women, stop to think, This is not what we want. Or should I say, not all that we want. We don’t only want to be desired.

I am a young 20 something professional women who is somewhat well versed in the dating world. I’d say I am starting to realize, being wanted as the person that I am inside and out, is something that is rare and much much more important than being desired.

Don’t get me wrong ladies, being desired is a wonderful feeling.That attention and sexuality that makes you feel in yourself sexy. The truth is, this leaves you feeling empty, and is followed by insecurity and heartbreak. Come on, I know you ALL have felt this before. Whether you would like to admit it or not. Everyone can relate, From the runway model on the cover or Vogue, all the way to the small town girl in Athens, Ohio.

So what do we do about it? Well I think it’s time we start putting ourselves out there! We may say we really do, but do we? We put ourselves out there sure. Only after the fact that the man has made it known he is interested. Is that really putting yourself out there? How about actually going to approach a man, that we are actually attracted to? Aren’t we all sick of giving chances to men that don’t deserve it? We let their desire for us, boggle our minds and make us crazy, for a guy we originally did not even want!

I am not saying this can’t work. It is completely possible that a man can be the one to approach you and it can work out in the end. All I am saying is for the girls who feel like they are always giving the guy the chance, maybe try something a bit different. If you see someone you may be interested in, approach him. Why not? What do you have to lose? Another heartbreak?

Please girlfriend nothing a glass of wine and some Fro-yo could not fix! (ice cream has too many calories).

Time to put yourself out there, and try something different. I’m in if you are! Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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