A Short List of People I Long To Experience

I’d like to get to know him – the reject that forgot that he was actually good enough. The one that has a bright light behind the iris of his eyes, although it may have been dimmed out through time. It still exists and I want to let him know that he has it within him. He is good enough. Time is just not his friend right now but that has nothing to do with his worth. He is so worthy.

I’d like to get to know him – the poet that spills pain on paper in the most eloquent way a human can. The poet that sinks into the depths of his trauma and comes up to present his papers with uncut diamonds. I want to experience myself through his words; through his eyes. I want to get to know the poet that remains reluctant to share the threads spun with his pen through his heart. I want to ask him how much more precious his poetry is when it’s only his.

I’d like to get to know him – the empty well that keeps bringing water up to the villagers. The giver that forgot that giving is not a sole virtue. The one that forgot. I’d like to hold him until he believes that he deserves reciprocation. He deserves to be loved the same way he loves.

I’d like to get to know him – the human that turned away from humanity because he knows it will not live beyond this day.

I’d like to get to know him – the human that has seen tomorrow and believes that humanity will make it through. He walked back into this day and smiled because he knows that someone somewhere might be solely surviving on a stranger’s smile.

I’d like to get to know him – the one that stayed while he watched his heart leave to some other place. The one that believes that the heart will one day long to come back to where he has settled because he has found warmth where his heart has left. He has found grounds at which he could stand and learn to love instead of going off to look for a love that is already there. I want to learn from him how he waits for his heart to understand what his mind does.

I’d like to get to know him – the one that has left while his heart remained. The one that couldn’t stay to watch his heart become what he has never wished it to be. Sense asked him to get going and so he did, but his heart doesn’t listen to sense. It listens to purpose and it is stubborn. I’ll let him teach me how to understand the stubbornness of an aching heart.

I’d like to get to know him – the one that has lost too many homes that he decided to become his own. I would take my shoes off before stepping into his halls. I would tread lightly so as to not wake up the child that still sleeps inside waiting for his mom to come back home. I would tell him that it’s okay. We all wish our moms would come back too. We all wish we didn’t have to become our own and only home.

I’d like to get to know him. I’d like to get to know her. I’d like to experience them all. I’d like to experience my own self through the souls residing within their bodies. And I’d like them to know that I am just like them too.

We are all fractures of each other and we are all longing to experience the rest of ourselves too.

Mariam is a yogi by day and a writer by night.

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