We’re all scared of something. We all have something that sometimes robs us of our sleep and abruptly snags our comfort. We fear that thing that has the ability to make its way through our veins while we stand numb and helpless to the defeat. Fueling itself on self-doubt and feeding on the voices it creates; fears are self-sustainable you see. Fears grow and breed massively until they conquer your life.
I know you’re scared, mostly of what you don’t know, because why would you fear what you’re mindful of. You’re scared of all the things time only knows of. You’re scared time might fail you and your dreams will be nothing other than fairy dust.
You’re scared of relinquishing control. You’re scared of all the things that move beyond you and fly above you; you can’t stop nor slow them and you can’t catch up.
You’re scared you would never be able to move beyond your barriers. The barriers that where put up when you weren’t even looking. Sky high, confining you to your tiny little world that is safe. But, safe is not it. You’re scared because you know that beyond these barricades lies a whole other world you’ve never seen, never breathed through.
You’re scared because the kind of safety you have now is all you have and beyond that, you have nothing.
You sometimes fear yourself, the self you are yet to know, but what if you never know? The more aware you are of the fact that you’re still unexplored the more you fear for yourself; from yourself. And the more you explore the more you fear, because you never thought so much of yourself and you keep unfolding unexpected sides to yourself. Why is there so much of yourself to be feared?
You wish that all you ever feared was the monster under your bed, but what if you are it. What if you’re the shrouded voices that kept you up as a kid? What if you were what you feared all along? Because, aren’t you?
What if this is all you get? And what if this is all you are? But, what if you’re wrong? And if you’re wrong, what if you never realize it? What if you’re not as good as you think you are and what If you’re better but cease to see it? What if you keep asking questions only you can answer? And what if you keep asking question you are the answer to? What do you do if you turn out to be the monster under your own bed?
But then again, is it really worse to be the monster than to have a monster under your bed?