I Want To Be More Than Your Friend With Benefits

I like the way we fit perfectly together on your small bed. I like running my fingers through your hair, and pretending that I don’t want to rub your back when you ask, but we both know I would love to. I like your bare skin against mine, and I like looking into your dark, deep-set eyes. Even though you can’t see it, you’re perfect. Everything about you is perfect, and I wouldn’t change a thing — well, maybe just one: Our status.

To an outsider, our relationship is the typical “Friends With Benefits” or “Booty Call” because I come over, we hook up, and I leave the next day. But it’s really more complex than that. We have a history, a history that few people have. We’ve known each other for a while now, with feelings for each other mixed in here and there, but never at the same time as the other. We went off to college, but we only found ourselves closer than ever, literally and figuratively. We could have went anywhere in the United States; coincidentally, we ended up next to each other. Coincidences, our relationship is filled with these.

Call me whatever you want, but I know there’s more to us than what we’re doing now. I want there to be more.

I want to be yours. I want to be the girl that you know will be there no matter what, because I will be. I want to be that girl that picks you up whenever you’re down. The girl that can turn your world upside down, the way that your eyes originally perceive it until your brain turns it right side up. I want to be the girl that makes you realize everything is okay now, despite the mistakes you made in your past. The girl that takes care of you when you’re sick. I want to be the girl that you try new experiences with. The girl that can satisfy all of your needs, sexually and emotionally. I want to be so many things with you. I want to be your girl.

We’re a pattern. We like each other on and off, so it has to repeat, right? Just this time, we both have to be ready, and when it happens, it will be absolutely amazing.

I want to be able to wake up next to you and know that you’re mine, finally, after all these years. I want to be able to tell you everything about me, but there’s probably not much that you don’t already know. I want to be wrapped up in your arms, intertwined in all of you, in everything you have to offer. I want to lay naked with you, feeling all of your skin, and not feeling shy of our bodies. I want to go away with you and experience everything the world has to offer with you. To travel with you, and to see the world through your eyes. To experience new things with you. To have that honeymoon with you that you talk of. I want to have sex with you all day, throw on your t-shirt and then do it all over again, giving you all of me.

I want to make you breakfast and take showers with you. I want to sit and play video games with you, letting you win each time. I want to cry in your arms and have you tell me everything will be okay, and it will be because I’ll have you. I want to be drink with you and laugh at all the stupid things that only we find funny, like dancing birds. I want to reminisce with you about our middle school days when I was what you called “The Queen of Middle School”.

I want to be able to tell you how I feel about you— better yet, I want to show you instead of having to write about it. I want to grow old with you and know that even though the wait for us to be together took forever, it was worth it because all good things take time. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

featured image – No Strings Attached

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