He left you because he didn’t see you as somebody who he would want to be with. He left because he didn’t see a future with you. He left because he was tired. He left because he isn’t happy anymore and no matter how much effort he puts in keeping his feet in your relationship, no matter how he tries to remember all the memories you had when you were still in the earliest days of your relationship, days where everything were full of butterflies and roses, still, he couldn’t find it in him to stay. He tried however, it really wasn’t enough. You weren’t enough.
He wanted to see the woman who could flip his world and make him crazy. He wanted to be with the woman who he could conquer the world with, his way. He wanted to be with the woman whom he could bear waking up to in all the rest of the morning of his life. He wanted to have the woman whom he could vent his troubled days with. He wanted the woman he would be proud of to show to his parents and friends and sadly, you aren’t that woman.
You aren’t that woman not because you aren’t pretty, smart, kind, caring, generous, funny, courageous, risk taker and all the beautiful words there are in the English vocabulary. Actually, you are all of these things however, it just so happen that you are not the type of “wonderful” that he is looking for. You are not the woman his heart chooses. You are not the right person for him. You just weren’t enough in his eyes. But that doesn’t make you less of the woman you are.
Someday, you will be able to find that man who would fight for you. He, who would see you when you say you miss him. He, who would cross mountains just to be with you. He, who would want to extend time just to stay longer with you. He, who would see how beautiful you are in spite of your ruined make up. He, who would want you to not wear any make up at all because for him, your bare face is the most wonderful gem he would want to stare at for the rest of his days.
He, who would know how your “yes” means “no” and your “no” to “yes”. He, who would show you to his parents and friends. He, who would want to see you walk down the aisle in your stunning wedding dress. He would see how more than enough you are. He, who would sincerely love you and choose you.
You will find him. For now, do not blame him for leaving you, instead be happy. Be happy because he made way for your real long-lasting love to come. Be thankful for he has been able to help you prepare yourself for that one person who would choose you over and over again.
Yes, it will be hard and nobody will ever be able to understand the pain that you are going through no matter how much you would try to explain it and that’s okay. Do not plead for people to understand you just because you wanted somebody to understand your pain. Do not try to explain it. Let yourself come to terms with what it’s feeling. Let yourself savor the moment of pain and resentment. Feel it. Feel it because it will prepare you for the best things. For the best guy.