If you’re a sap for plant puns, you’re in the right place. When it comes to finding the best succulent or flower jokes, pick-up lines, or puns, we’re doing just vine!
Here is how you can incorporate some of these plant puns into your life:
Write it into a card.
Write one of these puns in a Valentine’s Day card for your partner or in a birthday card for your plant-loving friend. Who doesn’t love a good pun or pick up line about flowers and vegetables?!
Create some DIY home decor.
Decorate your home with these puns! Make some art with your interest in herbs and cacti and gardening. Write (with paint) a pun on a planting pot, like “you grow, girl!” for your ficus plant or “aloe you” for your aloe plant. Pick up some canvases at your local craft shop and paint “pot head” or “pretty fly for a cacti” or “can’t touch this” next to a doodle of a cactus.
Use a pun in your next Instagram caption.
If you’re a plant mom/dad and want to post your babies on your Instagram feed, use a botanist pun as the caption. They will for sure make someone smile!
Use them for party decorations.
These plant puns would be perfect to incorporate into a flower or gardening-themed party. If your friend is a gardener or a plant mom/dad, use one or more of these plant puns in your decorations. Create a banner that says “it’s party thyme” or write “hope your birthday is on point” on the cake. Feel free to search Pinterest for more ideas that you might like!
Clever Plant Puns and Jokes
What did the big flower say to the little flower? What’s up, bud?!
How do succulents confess their feelings? “Aloe you vera much!”
Why was the gardener so embarrassed? He wet his plants!
What do you call a cheerleading herb? An encourage-mint!
How did the gardener know his herbs were fully grown? It was just about thyme!
What kind of flowers bloom on your face? Tulips!
Why did the cactus get in trouble at school? It couldn’t keep its plants to itself!
Why couldn’t the gardener plant any flowers? He hadn’t botany!
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
Why do herbs use Tinder? For Netflix and dill!
What do you call a garden nursery? Plant Parenthood!
Why was the cactus so smug? It was an arrogant prick!
How did the flowers survive so long without water? They really rose to the occasion!
What makes some plants better at math than others? Square roots!
Why wouldn’t the plant date the other? They didn’t want no shrubs!
What do plants do when they first meet each other? They in-tree-duce themselves!
What’s the saddest plant? A weeping widow!
What do you call a nervous tree? A sweaty palm!
Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.
How do plants practice self-care? They try to weed out unnecessary drama!
Why do plants go to therapy? To get to the root of their problems!
Classic Plant Puns and Pick Up Lines
You grow, girl!
You’re my bam-boo.
I’d never leaf you.
You make my heart skip a beet.
Aloe you vera much.
Wood you be mine?
Let me plant one on ya!
Our friendship is unbeleafable.
I’m very frond of you.
You had me at aloe.
My heart beets for you.
You are a spud muffin!
You are absolutely radishing.
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
Gardening Puns Any Gardener Will Love
Here are some plant puns about gardening that might leaf you laughing:
Botany plants lately?
Someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
I’m sexy and I grow it.
Talk dirt to me.
My fear of roses is a thorny issue. I’m not sure what it stems from but I’m stuck with it.
I feel sorry for wheelbarrows. They’re always getting pushed around.
I started dating the girl across the street. Honestly, lawn-distance relationships aren’t that hard.
My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
Eat, drink, and be rosemary.
Great Fruit and Vegetable Jokes
How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
What did the grape say when it was crushed? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.
Why did the lettuce close its eyes? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commen-tator.
What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe? You’re one in a melon
When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.
Why did the apricot ask a prune to dinner? Because he couldn’t find a date.
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
Herb Garden Puns, Jokes, and Pick Up Lines
I’m kind of a big dill.
It’s party thyme.
Chive never met anyone quite like you.
Thistle be the best day ever!
Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
Long thyme no see.
We’re mint to be.
Good chives only.
I be-leaf in you!
Sweet chive of mind.
Cactus and Succulent Puns and Pick Up Lines
I’m glad I pricked you.
You’re looking sharp.
Hope your birthday is on point.
Pretty fly for a cacti.
Life would succ without you.
We make a prickly pear.
Let’s stick together.
I’m ready to take it from “cacti” to “cactus.”
I’m a succa for puns!
I’ll never desert you.
You prickle my fancy.
Aloe darkness my old friend…
The Best Garden Pest and Animal Puns
You know what really bugs me? Insect puns.
You hear about the squirrel diet? It’s nuts!
I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug-fest.
Schwarzenegger retired from TV to kill bugs. Now he’s an ex-terminator.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybee.
Funny Flower Puns and Pick Up Lines
I love you a lil more each day.
Iris you all the happiness in the world.
If you were a flower, you’d be a damndelion.
We should put our tulips together.
What’s up, buttercup?
Talk dirt to me.
I think of you everydaisy.
I lilac you.
Wild (flower) about you.
I’m so thorny.
I love it when you call me big poppy.
You’re my best bud.
A peony for your thoughts…
Other Funny Botanist-Themed Puns You Might Like
Don’t kale my vibe.
I’m a pot head.
I like big buds and I cannot lie.
If a plant is sad, do other plants photo-sympathize with it?
Time to celery-brate!
If you can’t beet them, join them.
I yam what I yam.
Herb your enthusiasm.
Which pun did you like the best?