How To Love A Girl Who Doesn’t Love Herself

Noah Kalina

There will be days where you know you love her, but you can’t stand her. There will be days when she knows she loves you, but she can’t stand you.

Loving a girl who hasn’t learned to love herself is one of the hardest things a person can do. Anyone can love, but usually when people fall in love, they already know how to do it, because they’ve learned by testing it on themselves first.

But some people haven’t quite gotten there yet.

There’s the saying “in order to love someone, you must first love yourself”.

I call bullshit.

Some people take all the love they have and pour it into another person, so there’s nothing left for themselves. And that’s okay. You just need to know how to be with them, how to handle them, and how to love them.

There will be times where she’s sitting on the floor bawling, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. She doesn’t want to be touched, or reassured, she just wants to cry.

Let her.

There will be times where she can’t get out of bed for a week straight, and will only answer your concerns with a grunt. That’s okay – rub her back and bring her hot tea, and tell her that she doesn’t have to get up until she’s ready. She will be, eventually.

There will be the times when you come home and find her in the bathroom, with her arms covered in blood. Gently take the knife away and run the bath, get in it with her, and hold her, clean her, love her.

There will also be times where she’s happy, where she’s on the verge of learning to love herself. You’ll see it in her smile when you tell her you love her, in the way she inhales the steam of her tea, and in the way she walks around the apartment in her socks, sliding cross the floors.

You’ll go through all these times with her, and all you need to do is not give up.

If you love a person enough, eventually they’ll absorb the love and it will fill up their body, seeping into the empty spaces.

Just hold her. Love her. Help her learn how to love herself. And never forget, just because she doesn’t love herself yet, doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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