I am not a firm believer of the perfect love story; I think every relationship is different, unique, and special. Why? Because people themselves are their own magnificent individuals with a diverse array of different personalities, characteristics, dreams, and heartbreaks.
We all want different things out of life, out of love, so there is no cookie-cutter definition of an ideal relationship. We are all too different for there to just be one singular standard that we all must aim for.
But all I know is that a relationship should be adding to your life, not taking away from it.
This, my dear, is why I believe that you deserve a fairy-tale love.
One that embraces you for exactly who you are, who meets you in the middle and encourages you to work tirelessly for your ambitions, your aspirations. One that does not belittle you for wanting to change your life, for wanting to establish boundaries, for desiring to experiment, travel the world, let go of toxic situations, and find paradise.
Romanticism isn’t dead, and I hate how people attribute its death to my generation, as if it’s our fault we desire compatibility and hold high standards. We are hopeful realists who are simply trying our best in a world built by high divorce rates and childhood traumas. I don’t have an idea in my head of the perfect example of what the ideal marriage should be like. All I know is that I am both a dark realist and cloud-chasing romantic, an optimist and pessimist swirled together into one, because of my own personal experiences.
Yes, I take charge, I crave my leadership positions, and I desire to make lasting change in our society, in our world. I love my friends and would die for them. I have different interests and constantly want to try new things. I want to help topple the patriarchy, dance under the moonlight with wolves, and taste the sun.
These ambitions of mine add an overbearing weight onto my shoulders, of perfectionism and dread, of fear of rejection and failure. Most days of my life, I feel both happy and sad. This is why at the end of the day, I consider myself to be both a hopeless romantic and a dedicated realist.
But I still believe in true love, in compatibility, and in effort. I still believe that you deserve a love fit for fairy-tales, that we all do.
You see, I make plans and value structure in my life in order to achieve my goals and my dreams. But being in love shouldn’t have to be such a challenge. Real love requires work, commitment, passion, and drive. It’s not as easy as the movies make it look. But I still believe in its ability to transcend time, to make you feel warm on the days where you wish everything would just end, to make you feel like you are working in becoming the best version of yourself every single day.
I hope you find someone who makes the yesterdays of your heartbreak feel like memories of a past lifetime. Someone who makes you feel the sun-filled energy of getting up for the rise of a new day. Someone who transmits as much positive energy when it comes to being there for you, even through your highs and lows. Someone who is reciprocal, someone who leaves no doubt in your mind that magic really does exist in the everyday things.
A fairy-tale love does not make you doubt, does not make you question your stance in the relationship, does not make you feel the need to go through your partner’s phone in order to confirm loyalty.
Loving someone should not take away from who you are. Love should not force you to compromise your identity in order to please your partner. Love should be encouraging, supportive, gentle, and honest.
You see, having a fairy-tale love means being with someone who makes life feel like an endless dream, even through its darknesses. It is full of rocky turns and obstacles along the road, but if you know there’s no one else you’d rather do it with, you’re in the right place.
Never stop searching for that love that makes life feel like a fantasy, that makes you believe in miracles and magic, and that goodness still exists, even on your heaviest days. You know, the ones that harden your heart and make you question everything. Yet this love shouldn’t counteract your lack of self-love; it should allow you to breathe and celebrate your own self, your own individuality.
Settling is a fear I struggle with daily. I come up with scenarios in my head of what would happen if I texted back that old flame, the person I know has contradicting goals and values than me. What if 10 years down the road, I snap and choose something because it is easy and comfortable rather than challenging and nerve-wrecking?
But I shouldn’t have to worry. Because I believe in soulmates, in the concept of what’s meant to be ending up happening. I believe that a fairy-tale love is possible, that it happens when the Universe knows we are ready, even if we ourselves don’t feel perfectly in tune with the timing of our lives.
I believe that a fairy-tale love is one that won’t force us to settle, but one that will be full of adventure. No relationship is immune to hard times, I’m afraid—but a fairy-tale love, one that we all deserve, will make the challenges worth it. It will cause you and your partner to flow with ease in how you love each other and in how you encourage each other to develop and grow.
You deserve a fairy-tale love because, my dear, it is only society that has taught us to settle for less than what we have dreamed about. You deserve to be happy, to know pure and utter joy, to cry tears of laughter, and find someone who wants to know every little thing about you.
You deserve a fairy-tale love, because in this realist society of so many self-growth-dedicated individuals, we should not expect anything otherwise.