Love, as they say, is what makes the world go round. I lived by that. And I knew love could hurt. I’ve always known it will. And I may know a thousand other things, but I realized, I barely even knew love until you somehow convinced me it was you.
Yes. Love was you. Love was the perfect set of brown eyes and messy hair I used to wake up to every morning. Love was the laughter I could never have gotten tired of hearing. Love was the crooked smile that had always gotten me through the day. And, love always knew what to say.
Love was you. Love was everything and nothing all at once. It’s the life you breathed into me. It’s the life you took away. It’s the warmth that helped me through the coldest of nights. It’s the very fire that burned me when you left even when I wanted you to stay.
Love was the place of my security. And it was the very thing that destroyed it. I realize now, love, that I was so caught up in how to keep you that I forgot I needed to keep myself too. I realized that if I wanted my security to be permanent, I should have given it to myself and not ask it from anyone. Because when I give someone the power to stay, I’m also giving them the power to walk away.
I know that now. Your leaving taught me how to love myself the right way. I could only tell you so much of what I’ve come to discover about myself. But if I could sum it all up, I’d tell you that I learned that I have always been more capable than I thought. I’m capable of handling the things I thought I could never face without you. Love taught me to be brave and hopeful. Most importantly, love taught me how to piece myself back together.
Love, I want you to know you broke me. But it was the kind of breaking that made me whole. So, thank you. Thank you for the broken pieces.