Not a lot of people know how to be alone and do it well. Being single is equated by most to being lonely, especially after a breakup. These people tend to seek love and affection or a tiny bit of attention from other people and other things when they should first start by learning to love themselves. Although the thought of having someone to distract you over the sad fact that you just lost someone you cared about may sound helpful in the process of moving on, staying single after a breakup will actually help put a few things into perspective and here are several reasons why.
1. You get to assess why the relationship didn’t work out.
You get to process your thoughts and feelings and make peace with your past. By this, I hope you don’t blame yourself for the breakup or take it personally. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, some people just aren’t compatible with each other and relationships just fall apart. It’s life—don’t take it personally.
2. You get more time for yourself.
So go rediscover yourself and find new hobbies or nurture the ones you already have. Do self-care activities. Go out on weekends and treat yourself, eat at your favourite restaurant alone, or just chill at a café by yourself. You have no one to go on dates with anymore, so go take yourself on a date. It’s called self-love.
3. Less drama, less stress, more sleep!
The beginning of relationships are usually fun and exciting. It makes you feel like you can conquer anything, but let’s face it, relationships can get messy too. It’s inevitable. No two people perfectly fit without a few conflicts and differences. Moreover, breakups are usually emotionally draining. So now that you’re single, get more sleep and put your phone away.
4. You learn how to be independent and emotionally intelligent.
You shouldn’t be emotionally dependent on anyone. If you’re lonely in your solitude, you’ll still feel lonely and discontented even with company. Some people think that a relationship will fill a void in them and will complete them and make them happy, but that’s just not the truth. If you don’t work on your issues yourself, any relationship is not going to make you feel happy or fulfilled. If you have unresolved issues, it will affect your relationships negatively. A relationship will not unload you of the baggage you carry or rid you of your insecurities. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility to complete you or be your source of happiness 24/7. Your partner should be there to complement your life and make you feel happy and secure, but not all the time. You should feel happy and content with yourself first before you find more from someone else.
5. You’ll have lots of time to pursue your goals, build your career, create concrete plans and execute them.
This is the time to work on yourself and reach your dreams so that when the time comes and you decide to settle down, you won’t have any regrets about the things you didn’t do.
6. You appreciate your friends and family more.
They’re there to comfort you and watch you ugly cry or listen to you vent about your failed relationships. It’s sad that some people forget about their friends once they’re busy dating. But when you’re single, you appreciate their presence more and actually spend more time with them. So go out with friends you haven’t seen in a while because you were busy dating. There’s no one there to ask permission from or judge you or get jealous if you hang around other people.
7. It helps you set a higher standard for a partner.
Because, really, why would you settle with someone and end up getting annoyed by them for the rest of your life or however long you choose to put up with them? When you’re jumping from one relationship to another, are you sure you’re staying true to the standards you’ve set or just settling just so you have someone there to fill your nights? When you choose to stay single after a breakup, you get to think about what you like and don’t like in a relationship instead of trying to see if you can shape yourself into another person’s ideals.
8. It will better prepare you for the next relationship you get into.
Staying single doesn’t mean you’ll be lonely. If you think you’ll only get love from a romantic partner, then maybe you should reassess your other relationships with friends and family. Who’s rushing you to get in a relationship anyway? You have the rest of your life to be with someone, so enjoy the time you have alone now and work on yourself until you find your forever person.