Sometimes the man in your life needs a little reminder that you his beautiful, fabulous, amazing, brilliant, and talented girlfriend exists! Here are some helpful tips and tricks to get your boyfriend (husband/man in your life) to notice you!
1. Design A Dress Made Out Of Bacon
You can make something that just covers your naughty bits or go the conservative route and just cover your entire body in bacon! Either way he’s bound to notice you and find you delicious! Do note that this method doesn’t work on Hasidic Jews, Vegetarians or Vegans!
2. Hide All Of His Video Games
Get it all out, hide the joysticks, nintendo, XBox etc, make sure it’s all tucked away somewhere he won’t find it! Good hiding places include tampon boxes, your makeup drawer, and if your man is messy under his bed! With Mario and Luigi out of the way he’ll be all yours!
3. Put Parental Controls On His Television
No more Cinemax, no more late night HBO, and while you’re at it, no more ESPN! Now all he has to watch is you and you alone.
4. Steal All Of His Shoes
How can he go anywhere and be taken seriously without shoes? You’ll have him all to yourself this way.
5. Superimpose Your Face Onto The Naked Women’s Bodies In His Playboys
How can he not pay attention to you now? You’re basically a porn star! Charlotte totally did this to Trey in Sex And The City and their marriage definitely lasted slightly longer than it would have if she hadn’t!
6. Casually Mention The Possibility Of Having A Threesome With [Insert Hot Female Friend Here]
If this doesn’t get him to listen well maybe it’s time to question his sexuality. I mean, what heterosexual man doesn’t want a threesome with a two sexy women?