“The reason why it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected.”
Ten years later, I still remember this line from The Notebook. Perhaps it’s because, somewhere deep inside, I kind of believe this to be true, as cheesy as it sounds.
Falling in love is easy. Getting out of it is arduous. When you get in a relationship with the person whom you are deeply attracted to, they become a big part of your life. And once you fall in love with them, they then occupy a big part of your heart. They become the leading man or the leading lady of your story.
You invest time on the relationship and spend money on them even when you are broke. And it’s not because you feel like you have to, it’s because you really want to. You want to make them feel special and you’d do it in every way you can think of. You’d write them cheesy notes or cards to remind them how happy and grateful you are for having them in your life. You’d do things you usually won’t do just to make them feel loved especially when they are mad at you, and you’d create unique experiences with them to keep your relationship thrilling. You’d do anything to make them bite their lips and smile at you, because making them smile makes you happy and biting their smiley lips while looking at you makes them look irresistible.
They become such an important component of your existence that sometimes, if not most of the time, you’d rather be with them than be with other people. They are the first to know the big news. They are the ones whom you want to celebrate your success and accomplishments with. You want to do better in life because of them. You want to succeed to impress them. They motivate you as much as they challenge you.
And when you are mad at them, you still want to be with them. Even after a silly fight, you still want to hold and hug them. And you wouldn’t want to hurt them, because hurting them hurts you. When they are going through difficulties, you can feel their struggle. When they are suffering, you can feel their pain.
Fights, struggles and obstacles in relationships are inevitable. And if you are both deeply in love, all the ups and downs you both had only made your connection stronger. Bob Dylan once wrote, “People who suffer together have stronger connections than those who are most content.” I cannot disagree.
The bond you both have is so strong that you feel like your souls are connected. Being away from them for a week makes your heart weak. You dread the day they are going to leave. So on the day or night you both get into a fight and they tell you or you tell them that it’s over, your eyes weep, your heart aches and you’re soul bleeds.
Life is no longer the same. You’re heart is aching as if something has been removed from it. Life is no longer the same, because they are no longer in it. You feel a big void inside. You’re stuck on your bed and you feel like the world has come to an end. But, the world is still moving. Nothing much changed. Just you, and just your life really. Life is unjust. You feel like life has betrayed you. How could life give you what most people spend their whole lives looking for only for life to take it away from you once you let life know how much it made you happy? Maybe you should have not let your heart screamed out loud about how happy you are.
The person whom you used to talk to on a daily basis about anything and everything is gone. It is as if they have died. You find yourself crying here and there. You don’t want to go to school or work; you just want to mourn your loss. Because despite the laughs and the cries, the heartbreaks and the smiles, this person was still the one who made you happy like no one else could. And because, despite the ups and downs, and everything that had been said and done, the departure of the person you love is still one of the hardest goodbyes you will ever know. Like what Juliet told Romeo, “parting is such sweet sorrow.”