If I could sum up the previous year, I would say that it was a year filled with big and bad decisions.
Being 25 isn’t that easy. Imagine being close to your 30s, and it’s your last year closer to being 20. The awakening can be life-changing, especially at this age. We start having different priorities and become more accountable for what’s happening in our lives. Thus, we feel a heightened need to be more in control of our lives and to do the best that we can to make things worthwhile.
The thing is, last year I decided to tap out of a toxic situation I’m in without having a backup plan. I knew right then that wasn’t the person I am, because I always seem like I have my shit together. But on the inside, things are spinning out of control.
I was in a dark place.
As a girl who always had a plan, I didn’t expect to loosen up my grip on the control I had with my life. It eventually caused unnecessary confusion, panic, and the need to retreat from everyone around me. I knew I wasn’t this person. But once I put my trust in God, everything felt steady again.
Despite all the 180-degree turns and risks I took, I could say that I only have praise for the Lord. He has answered all my prayers, and I am grateful for that. After all, contentment is the only thing that could bring us peace at the end of the day.
This 2020, I may not be the woman who is fearless and brave all the time or someone who’s a risk-taker. I am weak – I know it all too well – but I know that I can do all things with God.
My God, who listens to me whenever I’m in despair.
My God, who grants my wishes and heeds to my prayers.
My God, who gives me strength in circumstances where I feel like giving up.
My God, who is the silver lining in a pool of dark clouds, hovering my vision towards His plan of a brighter future.
God has made a lot of difference in my life, and I couldn’t thank Him enough for showing me that there are second chances, that false hope was never a thing, and that blind optimism was never an option. I was braver because of Him – because I believe in the strength He gives me on every path that I take.
The first half of last year was filled with struggles. I felt like I was at rock bottom because I wasn’t getting what I wanted, or I was confused about where I was headed. But God gave me the plot twist I was waiting for, which I’m sure everyone was also praying for as the year came to a close. In the second half of the year, He made everything easier for me, and the turn of events was quite magical.
That’s when I realized how it’s true when they say everything will happen in God’s time, because He only wants us to be patient. As long as you believe in Him, everything that you want will fall into its right place at the right time.
That is why, this 2020, I will be still, and believe in His power over the universe. Because chances are, there may be something you’re praying for right now, but He already knows what’s going to happen. God loves us so much that He knows every detail about His children, and He would never abandon us. Remember that there is only hope or the absence of hope – nothing else.
When it feels like the stones thrown at you are crushing you with their weight, be still and let go, because you may not know it, but God is covering you with His blood and the wings of His angels. He is always supporting you from the depths of your despair.
And when you are in a dark place, fear not, because the Lord is there to protect you with His comforting embrace. People are made broken for a reason. It’s done so His light can get inside the cracks of your broken soul.
There are times when I pray and don’t shed a single tear. But as I talk to Him more in silence, tears pour down my eyes involuntarily. I used to wonder what that was for, but I figured that’s what happens when you’re pouring your heart out to the only one who can understand you.
Sometimes it’s magical how you build connections through your faith. And with God, I felt how His love worked wonders in my life.
Here’s the truth: God doesn’t always give you what you’ve asked for, no matter how hard you pray for it. Things will not be easy for you all the time. God won’t give you things just because you plead.
Trust me, He knows what your heart desires, but He also knows what’s best for you. Sometimes we may want things that are not truly beneficial to us. That’s when God will redirect us to what our heart needs, because He knows what can heal our hearts eternally.
He knows our hearts better than we do. And knowing there’s a being as powerful as Him who knows what will soften our hearts, not just temporarily but forevermore, is enough to calm the storms in our lives.
God himself is the silver lining beneath the clouds, for it is He who can save us from all our misery. So this 2020, be still. Let go. And let His light in – no matter what.