Are You Scared To Love?

woman looking through branches
Allef Vinicius

“I’m scared to love.”

We have all said this many times. We are probably even thinking it right now. And, that is okay. I think that we reach a point where we are scared to love because love is uncertain. We don’t know if the person who we give our love to will give us the love that we need in return. We don’t know if the person who we give our love to is right for us. We don’t know if we are wasting our time. We don’t want to end up in a position that we were previously in. We don’t want to fall too hard for someone and then the love ends up being one-sided. We want reciprocation. We want honesty. We want the love to be equal. 

However, when it comes to humans, nothing is certain. Not even how we feel. Feelings are fluid. They are not constant. They don’t stay the same. Not even our own.

See? I don’t blame you for being scared. I used to be scared, too. 

But, then I remembered all of the other times that I was scared to do something. I remember being scared to ride a skateboard. I remember being scared to try out for the basketball team. I remember being scared to sing my first solo in the church choir. I remember being scared to give a speech in front of everyone in class. I remember being scared to do my first science experiment. I remember being scared to take my first exam. I remember being scared to recite my first poem. I remember being scared to make a friend.

Then, I got older.

My fears became more complex. I remember being scared to have my trust betrayed. I remember being scared to be broken and not able to put myself back together. I remember being scared that I would not accomplish all of my goals. I remember being scared of the thoughts that lived in my mind because I would constantly overthink. I remember being afraid to love, vividly.

But, I learned that I needed to do all of these things in order to grow. I needed obstacles in order to learn from them and reach my full potential. And, although at times, the love that I gave was not reciprocated, it was never wasted. 

Love won’t hurt you. Love will heal you and those around you. I hope that you are not scared to love. I hope that you are open to love. I hope that the fear that you have goes away because by not opening your heart, you are being detrimental to yourself. Sometimes, you are creating walls. But, when you create these walls, you stop love from not only leaving, but entering as well. This is a problem because humans need love to survive.

Mother Teresa once said, “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” In other words, if we keep loving and are not scared to love, everything will be covered in so much love that it will have no choice but to become love. Love is the most powerful force, but you should not let your fears stop you from loving.

Opening your heart and letting love flow without being scared of the consequences, will set you free. My advice to you is to use your heart, but to also use your mind when it comes to love. I know that they teach you that the heart and the mind are at war, but that is a misconception. The best decisions are made when the mind and the heart come together. If you do this, your fear of love will diminish.

I want you to try a challenge. I want you, for the next week, to try to listen to your heart and what it is saying to you. I want you to try to pay attention to what it wants. What it craves. What it beats for. Your heart talks to you. You just have to take the time to listen. It holds so much love that you will eventually realize that there was never any reason to be scared to love. 

Don’t be scared to love. You can’t find love unless you are searching for it. You can’t find love unless you have an open heart. TC mark

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