Love Heals, It Does Not Destroy

man kissing woman's forehead
Nathan McBride

“But I love him.”

Those are the first words that I usually hear from girls who feel completely broken and shattered inside. Their world feels like it is crumbling and falling apart. Usually, anxiety appears and says hello. Their minds become filled with chaos. They start to ask questions like, “Will he change his mind?” and “Will he ever text me again?” constantly. And the cycle repeats over and over and over again.

I know because I am human, too.

You’ve told them everything. You’ve opened yourself completely. You have made yourself vulnerable. Yet, still, they take advantage. They use what you told them against you. It seems as if they are opening up your wounds even further instead of helping you heal, instead of loving you as you deserve to be loved.

I hate to break it to you, but…that can’t be love.

I have seen too many people sacrifice their mental health for this “love.” Ask yourself, if it is really love, would this person put you through all of this pain? Would you constantly be put in this same position? Would you be more hurt than you are happy? Are you actually free? NO!

Love is supposed to fulfill you. It is supposed to add on to the happiness that you hold within yourself. Love is the most powerful force, but it can become dangerous once it is placed in the hands of a human, if they are not careful with it. Love heals, it does not destroy.

So please, stop teaching people that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Stop teaching people that too much pain is okay because it comes with love. If you’re not there to water a flower, it won’t grow. If you’re harming it, it won’t grow. If you love something, you’d constantly grow it. You would take care of it. Stop teaching people that love needs to be given in doses. Stop teaching people that love is supposed to destroy who you are. If that is the case, that love is not for you.

P.S. Love is the greatest gift and you deserve it. I hope you remember this. This is a sign in case you needed a reminder. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Attorney | Author | Writer | Songwriter| NYC

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