Learning to fail successfully is an art, believe me or not. Most people will teach on how to be successful in some said area, but will leave out how to fail well. Yet when someone learns how to fail well, they’re on a better path to getting what they want.
No need to worry though. No failure needs to happen on your part.
I’ve failed enough times for the both of us, and I can give you a few hints on why you need to learn to fail right, and how to do so in the ideal manner.
Why failing successfully is important:
Failure is inevitable.
Now now kids, don’t think you can just skip over this and get right on to the gold. The hard and complex information is what matters the most, most of the time.
I’m going to give it to you straight: Failure is inevitable and the more you don’t face up to the this truth, the harder it’s going to knock you down.
I don’t care what it is, in what category of life, or how confident you are, failure descends upon us all, and in all different ways.
We may all define failure differently, but this doesn’t change the fact that we all fail.
Whether it’s failure to address a certain problem in our own personal life, a situation not going your way, or not getting your dream job.
We can all say, we have felt failure.
“But random girl on the internet, what about the people that look like they never fail?”
Two answers for this question. A. They never try anything actually worth trying, thus stay in their comfort zone always, and never really grow or B. They have learned the art of failure. Which is what I’m guiding you on.
Step 1 on how to fail better than you did yesterday:
1. Define your failure, and know it.
How do some people slide easily from one failure to the next without the slightest sign of distress?
They simply learned how to name what matters, and let the rest take the back door.
You’ve heard it been said, define your success in order to succeed. Well you know what I say? Define your failure as well.
Say you like someone. (You know, that special someone in your life.) Furthermore, you’re ready to strike up a conversation with them, but the problem is that you’re shy and they have no idea you’re even alive. Instead of approaching this hiccup in lines of success, define it by failure.
Say that failure is not going to be that that said person won’t like you. Or worse, won’t even acknowledge you.
Then heck yes! Of course you’re going to be much more afraid and intimidated to go after what you want!
However, if you define failure with, “I want to go after what I care for, no matter what it cost me. Even if it costs me embarrassment or awkwardness or discomfort, I’m going for it.”
If you know what your definition of failure is, the likelihood of you succeeding is much, much higher.
Don’t let your feelings do your logic. When you mess up, your emotions are telling you to sit down, shut up, and don’t try anything new for a long, long time. But why? Because you did bad in a setting where you had to publicly speak? Remember, all people sometimes mess up when speaking publicly, specially those who are new to it.
But often we are not stopped or detoured from our goals because of failure, but more often because of the fear of it and the feelings that happen because of it.
Many people I know have missed out on plenty of amazing opportunities simply because they were afraid to fail.
Why are we afraid to fail?
Most often times it’s based on how others will look at us. We’re afraid that others won’t think we’re as good as we were before, or that you’ll be too awkward to recover. Yet, most people are too self consumed with themselves to care about you for more than five seconds. I’m not kidding. People might talk. They might joke.
But at the end of the day, you need to know that went out on a limb to try and reach your goal or your destination. Let other people think and talk all they want: they are not you.
Step 2 in failing better:
2. Remember that personal failure is not bad, final, or even off “target.”
Stop looking at failure and success as final destinations in whatever you’re getting at.
I would say it’s actually more about the learning process than anything. Learning process of who you are, and what your comfortable with. The learning process for how to handle situations and trials in a better way. The learning process of finding what you love, and making it work.
Success and failure are simply roads that can lead you to anywhere. Anywhere you choose to go, that is. If you choose to allow your failure to be the end all, evil thing that makes you give up your hopes and dreams, then choose it.
Or choose to know that failure is not final, and something that every single person on this planet experiences. To fail does not mean that you are not exactly where you are meant to be. It means that you are working on being exactly where you are meant to be.
However you want to say it, failure, crashing and burning, making a mistake, or whatever. Realize it is not the end.
No matter how massively or widely you failed, don’t treat failure as if it is not an option, because it most certainty is.
Because failure is an option, always. Yet an option to simply be better, bolder, and brighter than you were ever before.
When you put it in terms like that, it’s a lot easier to bear with.