Is Being Obsessed With Social Media Really Our Social Suicide?

Of all the things that push us over the edge in life, it’s hard to believe that one of the biggest culprits for most of us, willing to admit it or not, is social media.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked my girlfriends how crazy would we have been if there were such things as Instagram and Facebook in high school. Now we can also add Snapchat to that list- if some of our OG asses could actually figure out how the fuck to use it. Thankfully I figured that out, even though it took me like 9 months to find where the hell my story was.

I think about all the things social media has driven me to do, discover or go bat shit crazy about since 2008 and I’m amazed at how it’s given me the ability to go from 0 to 100 real quick. The worst part, this was at age 29 and throughout my 30s. I seriously shudder to think what the 18-year-old me in 1999 would have done if my ex-boyfriend liked some thot’s selfie or got tagged at a field party in the woods while drinking Natty Ice without me.

Obviously I see and hear about the effects social media has on teenagers every day, not only with my career, but on the news or in day to day conversations with just about anyone. About 80% of the time the social media banter is not positive. Despite all this, we just can’t seem to pull ourselves away from the urge to know what other people are doing in their day to day lives which usually serves us no purpose.

That urge to refresh and check at a stoplight has only proven one real benefit in my life and that’s changing any stoplight from red to green instantly the minute I pick up my phone-it gets me every time.

While Facebook may have been the biggest trigger of drama and rants for us 4 years ago, it seems as if that has shifted to be our parents’ problem now. While they might be a step behind and are just now stalking their classmates from the class of 72, they seem to now be the ones complaining about what Delores posted or why we blocked them or won’t accept their friend request. I’ll tell you why, because I don’t need your comment on every single picture and status I post and your nonstop questions of what I meant by that or who is with me in that picture. Seriously, I am not 15 anymore. Thanks for ruining Facebook for me. Please don’t ruin IG and Snap for me too. But it’s only a matter of time.

This is the least of the nuisances about the social media world. Between the ambiguous cryptic pity posts, hearing about everyone that is #blessed and the inspirational memes and quotes that we know you are posting for someone who doesn’t actually give a shit to see, it’s seriously annoying. That doesn’t stop us from excitedly opening up our aps as soon as we see the little red “1” though, only to find a fucking Candy Crush invitation. I seriously want to crush you and myself for even staying on here. So why do I?

For one, there are people that I do find funny and interesting and actually care about online. I like to see their posts and pictures and I like sharing mine with them instead of emailing a Kodak Gallery album to 100 people. It’s not 2005 anymore. Technology has really progressed and we want to keep up with the times.

The meme movement is also everything at the moment. How else can I feel like a stranger literally just picked my brain and said something that I thought no one else thought but me? Or that there are other people in this world as fucked up as me that think the same way I do. It makes me feel normal, and laugh my ass off, not to mention have something to text my friends all day.

Then there are the things we don’t want to see, but we can’t look away from. The curiosity kills us and we cannot pass up this perfect opportunity for a topic of gossip or good laugh about someone’s lack of self-awareness. Why are you wearing that and are you really talking shit about your ex like that for the whole world to see?!? We love those train-wrecks.

This need to see something we really don’t need to goes hand in hand with the usefulness of social media to find anything out about anyone when you need to. If you’re as good as my friends and I, it’s likely that you can find some bitch by just knowing her first name and that she wears t-shirts, has hair and eats food. For real. Social media has really given us FBI type investigative skills. But sometimes this backfires on us.

The ability to find out anything we want on social media can be a curse along with a blessing. I’ve definitely stumbled upon something I did NOT want to know or see and it spun me into orbit, like the invite you didn’t get to go out last night and then saw 749 pictures of. While something like this rarely bothers me, there is one instance that has, and that’s when I’m trying to cut ties with someone.

Initially our need to know everything someone is doing or who they are doing it with when a relationship of any sort has ended, it helps to clarify things. But once the questions have been answered, it’s difficult to move on if you continue to have access to seeing or hearing things that will hurt you. This may be one of the only reasons I have ever deleted someone from my IG or FB. I just don’t want to know or see something that will bother or haunt me. This includes not being able to bare those posts that reveal someone new in their lives, but also just not wanting to see them at all- OR anything that will make me miss them. Out of site out of mind.

While I may not delete anyone spitefully or to be petty, some people do. Hell I’ve been deleted and blocked and have been pissed the fuck off about it because I just don’t see the need for someone to block me. I know I’m not the type that will contact someone or comment on anything negatively. Yes, I take it personally, it’s mean, especially when you are doing it to hide something from them. How many times have we heard about friendships being ruined, or families being torn apart over a meaningless post or unfriending or unfollowing someone? Come on, is it really that serious?

The answer for some is yes, because social media gives us some sense of validation. Whether this is how many likes we got, how many friends or followers we have or how much we can prove to be beautiful, successful, funny or loved in life. If you’re on social media at all, chances are, you care and I’m right there with you, guilty as charged. It’s only natural to want positive feedback from others, even if it is a random person from grammar school that you really don’t give a fuck about.

So, we can go on complaining about social media, yet continue being overinvolved in it, or, we can suck it up and use it only when we want or need to. But most importantly, we should all learn to not take it too seriously.

With that said, I will continue to post what I want even when I’m worried that I’m over-posting, because I love my son and think he is the cutest god damn kid in the world. I want to share that and that my hair looks good today and that my friends and I had the best time last night.

Everyone else says what they want to say and shows the pictures they want to show and I have to either enjoy or endure it, so I will do the same because that’s what I signed up for.