You may have endured countless heartbreaks and hurt. Your boyfriend has cheated on you, your girlfriend casually says, “I just don’t love you no more.” Your father may have left you since you were a child or your sister betrayed your trust for not keeping your deepest darkest secret. But deep down, deep down, you still have this tiniest bit of hope that the next love you’ll find is going to work.
You may have tried and failed. And tried and failed again. You may have twenty names in your it-just-didn’t-work-between-us list. Brad. Jack. Jen. David. Sam. Hugh. Whoever. You’ve cried yourself to sleep every single time after all those breakups, and you vow to guard your heart a little better – to not give every piece of puzzle to the next one who comes along. But you’ll never be able to stop putting yourself out there. You’ll find yourself having the strength of being vulnerable once more. Because you know you are one step closer to finding the one, even when you know you might get hurt once more.
You may once be a believer. “That was when I was naive,” you said. “That was when I didn’t know the truth in this cruel world.” Then something happens – something always does, and you find yourself at the other end of the spectrum. You scoff at those believing in fate; you mock your friends for believing in love. “The sooner you learn the truth,” you begin, “the sooner it will set you free.” But every night when you close your eyes to sleep, you wish there’s something you can do to fill the emptiness in your heart. You wish, deep down, you can be a believer once more.
You may be broken. You may have been experiencing enough pain to turn your back on the world, on humanity, and on every fairy-tale fantasy that feeds the possible existence of your true love. But there will still be moments that make your heart skips a beat. A touch. A smile. Those warm eyes. There are seconds when you will find yourself breathless, igniting those fire inside your heart that has been long put to rest – a flicker of hope of the warmth that you never think will experience once more.
You may feel desperately lonely. You have spent your 20s waiting and hoping that the next guy who sweeps you off your feet will present you the missing pair of glass shoe and end your singlehood forever. You wait – while at the same time seeing your friends getting engaged and close friends starting to build their family. You become others’ bridesmaid but never the bride. But you never give up. You never give up of showing up, of getting yourself out of the house because if there’s even the tiniest chance of meeting that guy today, you’ll grab it.
You may watch the news – witness wars emerging and the two towers falling and societies breaking. Death. Greed. Anger. Pain. Sadness. You start asking yourself, “How could anyone do this to another?” You become a complete cynic towards whatever good that is present, questioning every motive behind every deed. But then you see a two-year-old smiling wide, laughing innocently while their mother wipe away that ice cream smudge on their face. And you find yourself smiling. There is still goodness in this world. There is still hope. There is still love.
You may even curse love. Your curse it so hard that it rips your heart to pieces. You hate others who believe in it. But deep down, deep down, this hatred roots in the hope of its success. You hate love because it has failed you. You despise love because it is the one thing you want to have, but robbed.
You may say you don’t believe in love. But deep down, deep down, you always will. It doesn’t matter if love has or hasn’t done you justice. Because even the tiniest hope of its existence gives you hope for tomorrow.
It gives hope to life.