The most important thing that you can give yourself is patience. Be patient with your fears and your dreams. Rome was not built overnight, and your journey of healing will take a lifetime. Be the leader and role model you always needed growing up. Cuddle up with your youngest self and listen. Just listen. Have some intentional, uninterrupted intimacy with your younger self. Let them know that they are not only loved, they are valued for their unique contributions to the world. Let them know that you hear and see their mind in all its’ complexities and you believe it is magnificent. Just be patient. Growth will come. Don’t rush your process. The process is the journey.
There will be many times, maybe even most times, where you feel lost. Alone and stagnant in unstable territory within your being. You will be challenged to visit your core and uplift its vibrations manually. Sadness and anger are considered taboo topics and emotions. We only talk about grief in romanticized contexts that have an easy fix. The truth is emotions are messy as hell, they don’t have straight edges, they are not linear. Emotions have the power to break you if you do not learn how to bend. Emotions are like the matrix, they must be discerned with caution, cared for responsibly and analyzed objectively. Except, as a result of the marginalization of heavier emotions; when the rage surfaces the only thing on your mind is getting your point across, and letting those around you feel your pain and suffering. Before you act out, don’t. Breathe. Emotions are symptoms. A reaction to external and internal stimuli often stacked tightly together creating barriers to healing. Ask yourself three questions:
*What has triggered this reaction within me?
*What grief within me needs acknowledgment, acceptance, and healing?
*What is my intention in sharing this pain with others?
Don’t fret. Be patient. Be intentional. Be mature. There will be a voice. There will be a feeling that emerges from within. There will be truth. There will be guidance. Guidance will be neutral. There will be more light. It is when you think you’ve lost it, lost yourself completely that a greater version will be born.