Fuckboys Are Canceled For 2018

man with middle finger
Alexander Mils

Introspection is a healthy practice of mindfulness and connection without reflection reproduces chaos. 2017 taught me that fuck boy is an energy that transcends form. They come in all shapes and sizes, an assortment of religious spaces,an assortment of spiritual spaces, all colors, all ages and always toxic. Male privilege dominates the dating scene, pinning women against other women in the hopes of being ‘chosen’. Misogyny is internalized and ego traps are built. Women/Femme’s are left fighting to stay strong and heal, but you cannot get well in the environment that made you sick. You have to shake shit up, do something different, do something radical like abundantly fill your life with love that is willing. Love that is open, honest, consistent, transparent, light, nourishing and warm.

Building stable connections is a habit that many millennials are lacking. The idea that connections could be stable and thriving is one I am constantly theorizing about with my comrades, but even in my own life executing said stability is upstream. I choose to honor my connections in this way because I hold myself accountable for walking my talk. It’s one thing to say that you love yourself and another thing to have every decision you make show that you love yourself. Show yourself that you love yourself because it’s all for you.

2017 tested my self-respect and put hot water under my boundaries. One recurring lesson presented to me was that people will treat you how you allow them to treat you. Slighting my better judgment I connected with someone who wasted my time, someone who has a sly way with words, someone who hasn’t even conceptualized their fuck boy status. I had to boss up because that kind of behavior just will not do. Crying brings life to an aching Soul. I don’t break, I bend like the matrix.

Things to consider when moving forward with any connection:

* Do I feel safe? 

* Do I feel heard? 

* Do I feel nourished?

* What do I need/want from this connection?

* How does my energy converge with this space? 

* Do I feel comfortable enough to maintain an intimate connection with this person? 

By consciously taking in each breath of every moment, I am creating a future for myself beyond my imagination. The choices I make everyday decide my fate. That cycle of fuck boy energies has been cancelled. Always remember who you are and your worth. When someone shows you their true colors don’t try and paint it over with the shades and hues you’d prefer. Allow people to be perfectly imperfect, but that doesn’t mean compromise your own well being. Create that closure for yourself and keep it pushing. It’s up to you to feel how you feel about them after everything isn’t said, but done. However, don’t harbor any malice. Appreciate what has come and left, what you grew into and what you’ve outgrown.

Anybody who leaves you wondering is chopped. Anybody who makes you feel unsure is chopped. Anybody who tells you upfront that they aren’t shit is chopped. Anybody who taxes your time and energy is chopped. Anyone who your intuition urges you to avoid on an intimate level is chopped. Anybody who does not respect you or your time is chopped. Stand clear of fuck boys cloaked in spirituality. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I am secure in my cloak of confidence.

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