To My Future Lover, I No Longer Believe In Love

You may never find me, but know this, if you ever do stumble into my arms or I yours, all hell will break loose.

The ones before you made sure I had trust issues. Even though you are well worthy of blind faith, it’s not your fault. The faith was placed in wrong hands. The heart was crushed, feelings butchered and a lifeless form lay waiting to rise from the ashes, much like a phoenix would. Except this is reality. You don’t rise from the ashes. You bury yourself into it.

Some will tell you it’s for the best, others will say he doesn’t deserve you. Only you know how lost you are. Only you can see that this affects only you and no one else. It’s not despondency, believe me.

It’s realization that hits you in the face. Some of us are not meant for all the brilliant things that dreams are made of. Some of us have to learn to face facts. And learn it the hard way.

Facts such as life is probably more than finding your better half, and finding happiness in another person. It is more than companionship. I hate to admit that I was wrong. Well, such is life. You learn along the way. For all of you who have your life figured out, a loving partner to take care of you and everything seemingly in place for a blissful life, I could not be happier for you.

For those of us who are afloat on hopes of finding the bliss, please wake up and smell the coffee.

Nothing as powerful as you has ever been born. Please do not give the baton of your life to anyone else.

Sadly, life is not a relay race. Nobody will run it for you. There isn’t a soul who will win and happily give you the credit. No lover will do that. No friend will do that. We are all selfish. It isn’t a cringeworthy quality. It is a necessity.

So my dear future-imaginary-lover, word of advice to you, I am no longer the girl who believes in love. I don’t believe in companionship either. I believe in me. And that’s enough.

Even though it took me this long, I am glad I have myself by my side today. If at all you decide against your instincts and fall for me, I hope you fall hard and fall strong. A girl who has found herself will be worth the fall.