Thought Catalog

The Unedited Truth About Why We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve

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Yes. We accept unrequited love because we perceive ourselves, consciously or unconsciously, to be unworthy of love. I am not as beautiful/handsome as he/she is. I am not as smart. I am not as tall. I am not as fit. Why would he/she love me?

Yes. We accept emotional and physical abuse because we don’t perceive ourselves to be capable of finding another love or a more suitable lover. If I leave him/her, I won’t be able to find anyone better. He/She is more beautiful/handsome, powerful, successful than me. At least he/she knows all my faults and still chooses to stay.

We accept less because we are afraid, we are terrified of searching for more and returning empty handed. We accept less because we have a distorted image of ourselves that blocks us from accepting the love that is out there waiting for us to welcome it with open arms.

Yes. We accept humiliation. We accept neglect. We accept rejection. We rationalize them. We build our level of acceptance and expectations around them. We lower our own standards with our own hands.

The love you accept is nothing but a reflection of the love you water yourself with. You accept the love you think you deserve. And the love you think you deserve is nothing but a reflection of the image you have of yourself.

The world might have been unfair to you. Your parents might have not loved you enough. Somewhere in your childhood someone managed to convince you that you’re less and that you’re unworthy. A friend decided to stop talking to you. Your first love broke up with you without explanation. Perhaps it was a day when you were 5 or an afternoon when you were 16. Perhaps it was one event or several that changed the way you started looking at yourself. You might not remember them. You might be conscious of them or not. But if you are reading this, wherever you are, whoever you might be, read this very carefully. Read it over and over again. We accept the love we think we deserve. And you deserve more. You deserve MORE.

You deserve a love so big that it sets the stars on fire. TC mark

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