How We Slowly Kill Our Own Happiness

 Drew Patrick Miller
Drew Patrick Miller

Any topic that centers around emotions should be one of great interests to the human race, especially since certain feelings are becoming a rare phenomenon as the ever changing connectedness of this world leaves us very disconnected not from each other, but from ourselves.

Several technological advancements may have enhanced our capabilities and continue to contribute to an efficient way of life but they also make us alien to our own feelings, which in return disconnects us from each other.

So in all reality it’s not that technology detaches us from one another, it separates us from ourselves, as our feelings transform into experiment we try to control or escape.

Back in time when people got hurt or disappointed, because believe it or not it’s not something new, they had time to overcome the pain. They didn’t have instant access to several ideas influencing how they should or shouldn’t be feeling and behaving – religious establishment, family, and society most likely influenced them.

In today’s world, when we feel down (be it the result of a failed relationship, an unachieved goal, a family dispute, a missed opportunity, a betrayal, or just life) we end up either listening to an ever-ending source of voices which confuse us because they aren’t always aligned with how we truly feel or think, or we try quite hard to not really find ways to deal with the situation by making sure it never happens again.

So we build walls to guard our sensitivities and then we login to social media or receive a text message that reignites the pain in way or another – the hurt takes longer to overcome so we become desensitized as we constantly remember what stole our happiness, dignity, and/or pride.

Keep in mind that the memory spans over years as we aren’t only reminded of current pains, but other hurtful moments that happened in the past tend to creep up into the present memory. Pain is easier to remember, we rarely sit around and think about happy moments.

Odds are our energy isn’t channeled into making happy moments again but rather ensuring the happy moments associated with the sadness never happen again. We want happiness, we want a peaceful state of mind, we want love, success and stability, but we aren’t willing to have the opposite realities that accompany them.

Can’t we see how ridiculously vicious of a cycle that is? As humans, we are trying to wipe out the loving and warm moments just to ensure the unhappy ones don’t re-surface again. When we think and behave in a way that keeps hurt and pain at bay, we are really making sure we do not engage in anything of substance because there is a possibility of being letdown and why should one risk that?

So we continue living under a disguise of strength and indifference, constantly shutting people out, lying to ourselves, and distracting ourselves to make sure we don’t think about what’s real, making sure we don’t feel what was once felt. How do we expect to ever feel again? TC mark

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