I Am Slowly Learning To Release My Trauma

I used to think that being a badass was being able to push through any wall, fire, or obstacle and put it behind me. Who has time to waste on pity parties or spilled milk? I’ve got worlds to conquer and shit to do.

But then one day, all the trauma I’d forgotten or pushed through called me.

It had a face and many names.

It wanted to be heard.

It wanted compassion and love.

It wanted me to see it.

It wanted me to sit with it.

It wanted me to hold its hand.

It wanted me to accept it instead of being ashamed.

It wanted me to be proud of what I had come through.

It wanted me to stop pretending around it and hiding because of it.

In this place of terror, I thought I was losing myself.

But what my trauma was actually teaching me was grace of self, and it gave me the gift of my true self.

I would find that out later.

Sitting with trauma, looking at it, making seeing every part of it a priority and not running away from any part of it is a process.

It takes patience, time, and skills I’m learning every day.

Facing all the parts of myself, saying “hello trauma,” thanking all the parts of me that protected me, being vulnerable and accepting of my body as it releases the pain is one of the most badass things I’ve done.

I challenge you today to rethink what you define as a badass.  I’ve learned that just allowing and opening up is more badass than pushing through.  I invite you to show up as the badass that you are, sit in vulnerability with all your trauma, rage, anxiety, and shame, accept this as part of being human, thank it, and release it.

I challenge you to find the people who allow you to be you without shaming or judging you or expecting you to be perfect. Find the ones who know your soul and recognize when you’re tired and in pain, who recognize that you’re actually being vulnerable and in your space of deepest need. Find the ones who will pull you closer in these moments and not walk away, because they only want the parts of you that make sense to them or that fit in with what their construct of you or the world is supposed to be. Find the people who will hold you in this space, hold you close, or hold a space or love for you as you arrive at the next level of yourself.

Be you in your fullest extent and move through it.

Transcend by way of it.

Believe in it.

Believe in the flow of life.

I believe in me.

I believe in you.