Closure; a seven letter word that is supposed to give you answers to all your questions. It will give you contentment and clarity of why everything happened. It will make you feel liberated and at peace because you finally got the key to the question that you been asking yourself for months. The questions I have been answering for months.
I know this closure is not easy; I know it’s been months since we spoke and I know life is not fair but it will be okay. I have faith in that. I know you loved me too much to let it go easily. I know I took the final plunge but I couldn’t fix which was unfixable.
The war within you was not mine to fight. I was a mere distraction you see, the war was much bigger and it invaded your heart. A heart it was invading for seven years. A heart I couldn’t cure although that was my duty, the reason I was brought in your life.
I was chosen for this mission because I would give you all the worldly desires that you were deprived of. There were days I wanted to tell you what your family was in it for. A part of me knew and was ashamed to even talk to you about it but it’s true. They will eat you like the wolves because for seven years this is what they did when you weren’t here and this is what they are even doing now. They used us like puppets.
There are things I should have told you, so many things but I didn’t because a part of me knew you would not listen, and part of me simply didn’t want to be part of it anymore. After you left they told me to leave you, they manipulated me so I walked away. They lied about everything and I know you know it too. You see it was all a plan to cut me out of your life so that they could get all of it. They were insecure of what we became. They were insecure of what we will become together.
What hurts is you didn’t stand against the constant lies and manipulation. You let it happen and that inconsistency in your love my beloved broke my heart, because I was in it for love and you can have all that is mine but you didn’t love me. You fell for their trap, you fell for it deep.
You got too busy in taking care of yourself that you forgot about me. You made me your enemy where as I was your Queen. How should I have brayed it when you were not on my side? That’s the reason it ended. You disappearing constantly and not returning.
I know you must be angry and mad for why all this happened. It happened because you didn’t take care of what was yours by yourself. You didn’t accept why seven years abroad didn’t happen and that kind of heartbreak my beloved I couldn’t cure. That denial and resentment I saw every day I couldn’t fix. I wish I could take you there and give you all the worlds’ happiness but you yourself chose a different path.
So don’t come back to this land. Stay there or go back from where you came from because this battle is a lost cause and I am tired to fight it. I let the wolves handle it but I wish we ended it nicely. I wish we both met one last time and the next day never met again.
I wish we parted ways with grace and dignity with love and hope. So, regardless of all that has happened, it’s ok because that’s how it was meant to be. It was destiny. It was never met to be.