My Heart Is Tired Of Love

Tamara Bellis
Tamara Bellis

What I have learned at the changed of 25 is that the word LOVE means many different things to many different people. For some love is complete and utter devotion without any reluctance or hesitation. To others it’s a personal choice that only gives you emotional stability and satisfaction. Regardless, of what it means to whom. Love is your strength and your weakness depending on what stage you are in your life.

For me, love right now is my biggest weakness. I made many choices for it and against it but love have completely shattered me. It has made me realize that the heart is only for you alone and no one else. Because love comes to you when you least except it, (in my case I got married thinking I was in love) and leaves you hanging dry without any idea of what actually happened.

So, love abandons you. It throws you to the wolves. There is no gun, knife or a dagger to protect you. What is left is your broken heart, lifeless, in pieces. It is only pumping blood to your heart to make you realize what could have been, should have been or would have been. Your heart becomes only an organ doing its time, making it work.

Your heart pushes you forward with “hope.” The word that tells you time again and again that “everything is going to be ok.” In other words what’s meant for you will never go any other way or will obviously collide with the wall and bounce back right at you. Hope makes you realize not everything is too big or too small; it’s just way you perceive your life.

I perceive my life has a higher purpose then to be in love or with love as so is that to be with my beloved. I believe love should liberate people to become the people they never thought they would be. Our love should have liberated us, if only it was you and me. Love would have been everything and all the things we ever wanted.

I am sorry if I couldn’t give you full submission those times when you desired the most but my love wasn’t strong enough to conquer it all and neither was yours. We fell in love to quickly when we both needed time. It was the idea of love that invaded us, not love.

Love is selfless my beloved, love is to never give up. Love is to fight. Love is to scream. Love is to cry with each other holding each other tight. Love is only you and me. I wish you fought for me, I wish you stayed. I wish you realized that I waited.

My heart is only an organ now; it’s lifeless. It’s filled with agony and pain.  I am tired of love, my heart is tired of love. TC mark

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