The one rule we do follow is an important vow from our wedding. Among the promises we made that day was that we would be there for each other in sickness and in health. What we didn’t know is how little time we would have between “I do” and cancer.
Over a number of years I have interviewed a wagon load of people for positions, mainly for office jobs. You meet all kinds of interesting characters when you are trying to find your new favorite employee.
Can you look at this thing on my back? What is that?
Like it or not, primary breadwinner privilege exists and is often the crux of the power balance issue. Wielding it constructively for either spouse is a matter of fair and honest negotiation.