13 Brutal Truths About Hooking Up (When You’d Rather Be In A Relationship)

Margot Gabel
Margot Gabel

1. It doesn’t mean you’ve lowered your standards because you’re hooking up when what you really want is a relationship. It means you’ve found someone so exceptional you’re willing to take a leap of faith.

2. Hooking up is human. It’s raw. Relationships are tamed, and while that’s what you’re going for, you aren’t mad at being reminded of your humanness, either.

3. It can be lonely sometimes, to feel like the only person who craves companionship.

4. Caring about someone who doesn’t care about you is one of the most exhausting things in the world.

5. When people say they’d rather hook up than be in a relationship because they don’t have much time you think “really?” Your friends with benefits situation seems to be a lot more dramatic and time consuming than simply being in a relationship where you know where you stand with someone. I wonder what the real reason people don’t want relationships is?

6. Sometimes you’ll feel like you were born in the wrong generation. You wish a 50’s James Dean would come and sweep you off your feet and you could somehow wear a dress on a motorcycle and ride off together.

7. It’s hard to keep your friends abreast of what’s going on in your love life because it’s just complicated. Sometimes you’re fine with things the way they are and most of the time you want more, but it’s hard to explain to people. The person you’re hooking up with isn’t bad just because they aren’t ready the way you are — they just need time. Or something.

9. Sometimes you read men talking negatively about women who are in their 30’s and unmarried and you wonder if that will be you and you’re like, it’s not for lack of trying guys! None of you wants a real relationship until you’re in your 30’s, so there’s not much I can do about it on my end.

10. You grow as a person because of how difficult this kind of situation is. You used to be pouty, you used to send passive aggressive texts. Now you know that shit just makes you look bad. You’re kind of zen about it, actually.

11. You feel lucky when you get to spend the night. And then you feel pathetic for feeling lucky about that. The truth is you are just doing the best you can to go after what you want, and it doesn’t always look pretty from the outside.

12. It physically hurts when you hear or read about people in crappy relationships where one partner clearly has stopped caring. You would never take someone you loved for granted like this. All this waiting in limbo has made you certain your relationship skills are off the charts simply because you really want them to be.

13. You know that the situation is making you stronger, that above all you will never lose hope, you will never stop believing in love — or that you will have a happy ending. There’s someone out there for everyone, and if nothing else, your tenacity and positivity will attract people to you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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