Why is it so easy for us to settle for so much less than we deserve? Why do we let people use us, time and time again, and only blame ourselves? Thinking there’s something wrong with ourselves instead of seeing that it wasn’t us, it was them. They were the problem. Instead, we believe that it was something we did or said, the way we look, the way we overthink and over analyze. It only leads to a lower self-esteem and even lower standards. You create this poison in your mind, missing the point entirely.
It isn’t you.
Now, put feelings into the mix and things get even more complicated. If you feel something for this person who keeps using you, you’re even more likely to believe it’s something you’ve done. You’re the reason that they can’t commit; you’re not good enough.
But why do we continue to do this to ourselves? If you look at it from an outside perspective, it makes no sense. It’s so easy to say “just leave them in the past and move on.” Actually doing so, on the other hand, isn’t so easy. Every text you get and try to ignore, the same things go through your mind: What if this time, they say they want me?Only me? What if this is the time that they commit?
But they don’t and you’re left alone after it’s all over, again.
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
So why do we think we deserve so little?
Are we taking this emotional abuse to fill some void left by a previous partner? Are we naïve to the ways of the person in front of us?
I’ve always seen the good in every person. The bad they did always seemed justified. In retrospect, it wasn’t ever the way it seemed in that moment. At some point you have to slip off the rose-colored glasses and take a good look around.
Is it worth it?
It takes a toll on you when they leave. Your thoughts start running in overdrive and you replay every conversation, every touch, every moment you had together. You start to analyze everything you did. Was it your body? Are you pretty enough? Smart enough? Are you enough?
You are. You are all of those things and more. These people that keep using us, they don’t deserve our time. They only want to speak to us when it’s convenient for them, when it benefits them. They don’t deserve us.
They are not enough.
How often afterwards, do you feel good? How often are you smiling and actually listening to the people around you when these toxic people are gone? If you’re only getting that on-top-of-the-world feeling when they’re with you, instead of 24/7, let them go. You deserve that feeling at all times and someone who truly cares will give you that, and many more things, without hesitation or thought.
We have got to let these toxic people go.
They’re only bringing us down.