What You Could Do When You Get Stood Up

I recently got stood up… on the third date. I felt like a piece of garbage. Garbage on top of garbage as some of my friends like to say. I was completely blindsided. I met the guy at a bar. I held out from any tomfoolery that evening and drunkenly threw out that I’d let him take me out. “Because I am a girl of virtue and grace,” Drunk Maggie managed to pull out of her ass. The second date was pizza and Portlandia. Things were looking good. We made plans for a third date. I waited for him to text me when he was ready for the dinner and movie (The Grey) that he had planned. I waited… and waited and I haven’t heard from him since. Damn. I wasn’t as hurt that he didn’t want to go out with me, I was more hurt that I wasn’t worth a quick “hey cant do 2nite” text. Safe to say, I felt like crap.

The city I live in is a pretty small town. I have now seen him twice, not from across the street, but walking past him on the sidewalk. The first time I saw him walking with another guy. I looked baller that day, so I did what all ladies of the 21st century do. I pulled out my phone and pretended I didn’t see him.

The second time I saw him was on my way to the subway as he was out for the run. I didn’t say anything again, because I was shocked I saw him for the second time. Since comedy comes in threes, I’m bound to run into him again. If you’ve ever been stood up and then seen them later, we have a few options on how to approach the stander upper.

1. Tell him/her that he/she missed out.

You are great. Whether it was the first date or the third, you are awesome. Even if they weren’t completely smitten with you, or you with them, you’re a fantastic person because you would never stand anyone up. You’re a positive Patty and he or she is a Negative Nancy.

2. Let them know only a weirdo stands people up.

If they are the kind of person who stands someone up, you want nothing to do with them. Not only is it disrespectful, it’s just a weird thing to do. If they are in the vein of someone who stands people up on a date, they may also be susceptible to the following weirdness: eating bleach, sucking on their ponytail, talking through movies, owning a Zune, liking Jar Jar Binks or biting their toenails.

3. Pull a “mightier than thou.”

Let them know that you hope that no one ever treats them like they treated you. No one deserves that. Everyone deserves respect. I might have thought his enjoyment of scream-o music and hulking backpack were stupid, but I respected his taste and dumb ass backpack. Also, if you can stand at a higher elevation than them, say a chair, stairs, bench or bar, it’ll really drive the point home.

4. Be a crazy person

This is best used when you know for a fact you’ll never see them again. Call them out. Hell hath no fury like anyone scorned. Announce to everyone on the street, subway car or bar that they stood you up. If you have a few friends with you, make sure they blankly stare at the stander upper like they’re about to snap. Call them names like dirtbag, asshole, dickface, or any combination of two syllable insults. Butthead is a classic. You’ll seem like you’re completely out of your mind, but they’ll know you didn’t take kindly to their nonsense.

5. Don’t say anything

Just fantasize about doing all of the former and hope you never run into him or her again. TC Mark

image – liseykina


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  • http://www.facebook.com/amrita.tapadia Amrita Tapadia

    Or just not call back or message ever again ( Asking why they stood you up) , and let them think they were not a very great catch after all… :) Did this – And eventually the guy got around and messaged me. I went like – Sorry, who’s this?. He texted back saying – (Name). Did you delete my number?…. I didn’t reply…… :D Regret it sometimes though.. He was really cute! But then he stood me up when I really wanted to hang out (he deserved it!)

  • H

    You didn’t get stood up, he just didn’t get back to you because he wasn’t interested. It’s not like he arranged the dinner and movie with you and didn’t turn up, leaving you standing there like a dick.

    • Veronica

      “I waited for him to text me when he was ready for the dinner and movie (The Grey) that he had planned.”

      Sounds like he did indeed arrange the dinner and movie and then didn’t contact her the night of. True, she was probably at home rather than sitting alone in a restaurant or something, but I’d still count it as standing up.

      • H

        Yeah it says they made plans for a date but nothing definite, so you can’t really be stood up if someone just decides not to contact you about solidifying those plans. It’s more like she got ignored by a guy, not actually stood up. Maybe.

      • someoneskippedthirdgrade

        Your reading comprehension skills are atrocious.

    • Maria

      They made plans, even if there wasn’t a specific hour set yet, but the day was. So, he stood her up. And then he wasn’t respectful enough to call off their plans.

  • http://leavemeakiss.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/3405/ I sell seashells by the seashore
  • http://twitter.com/MFawkz Michelle F (@MFawkz)

    It just really irks me when people avoid the awkward ‘I’m just not that into you,’ talk by pretending they’ve fallen off the face of the earth. Everyone deserves the tiniest bit of respect it takes for a quick 5-minute phone call to say, ‘Listen, you’re great but I’m just not feeling it’.. or whatever. And if respecting other people makes him uncomfortable, then rest assured, you’ve dodged a bullet.

  • Roy

    I’d say walk up to them the next time and say, “Hi, don’t know if you remember, but we were supposed to catch up a couple of days / weeks back. I wish you’d texted saying you weren’t up to it, instead of making me wonder what happened. In any case, thought I’d clear the air instead of cringing every time I saw you in the neighborhood. See ya!” People are disarmed by the truth and you’ll quit playing the same games that you’ve accused him of playing.

    • Ria

      Yup. This!

  • http://linkhoarder.wordpress.com Sara

    yeh honey, there’s a sixth option. call him out but be friendly. like ‘hey! how are you? i haven’t heard from you since we were supposed to go out that time? what happened with that? oh hahaha oh well. next time yeh? i’m busy being fabulous but ill call you’ and then never call.

  • Meta

    Loved this article–funny, witty, and true!

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