Bikini season is upon us! Weather you’re trying to maintain your beach bod or still trying to shed a few pounds, a lot of us are trying out some new diet or detox. Here are fifteen things that happen to us all.
1. Food porn begins to consume your life.
I just googled Kaiser rolls.
2. You take things as personal attacks.
How dare there be national doughnut day, doesn’t instagram know I am on a cleanse?!
3. Everything induces craving.
“I love your earrings; they are the exact color of doritios.”
4. You crave things you don’t even like.
I could so go for some licorice right now.
5. You crave things you’ve never even had.
I could so go for a cronut right now.
6. Unpredictable emotional responses.
Once I cried in public because they were out of tomatoes.
7. You open a bag of chips and put your face in it.
Just “for the smell”
8. You bend the rules.
Potato chips can be considered a vegetable, right?
9. You find loopholes in whatever rules you’re following.
Did you know that Oreos are vegan?
10. You look up everything.
I once sat next to a vending machine googling the ingredients of all of its contents to find something gluten free.
11. You don’t look up anything.
On second thought, if I don’t know what’s in it, it’s not really cheating.
12. You’re surprised at nutritional facts.
Hint: everything contains milk and is cooked in butter.
13. Your taste buds lie to you.
Once I thoroughly enjoyed a lettuce and mustard sandwich because I was so deprived.
14. You fantasize about the end.
I plan out my cheat meals before I even start a diet.
15. You always think you’re starving.
You’re not. Eat a carrot.