My mom and dad met in ‘92. It was election year and both of them were assigned to the same precinct. My dad was there for a money gig, he actually got paid to assist and guard the voting process. My mom, on the other hand volunteered for the Church. They met and got to know each other very briefly. Next thing my mom knows is that there’s my dad, knocking outside her house looking for her. She never gave him the address or any details besides her name.
Up to this day, it was still a mystery how my dad had figured it all out.
Their first date was at a fried chicken restaurant that my dad couldn’t afford then. He pawned his watch to get some money to date my mom. They got married in ‘94. There wasn’t a glamorous proposal, there wasn’t even a proposal at all. They just thought that by that time they already knew that they want to spend the rest of their lives with each other. The events that happened after briefly include a number of birthday parties and Christmas mornings and Sunday sleepy afternoons and late night fights and Graduations and numerous bank accounts and debts and four kids and a dog. They’ve been together, every day for the last 24 years with a promise that only death will make them part.
I secretly longed for a fairy tale relationship to happen in my life. I wanted it to be as romantic as theirs. I hoped to meet the man of dreams somewhere in the train station or maybe sitting across me in a coffee shop or inside the movies when I watch alone. I wanted someone who’d give me roses on every Birthday and Valentine’s and Christmas. I wanted a guy who’d sweep me off my feet and bring me to dinner with candlelights and violins and slow dancing. I obsessed so much on the romance that I failed to realize that it was merely the tip of the iceberg. I failed to look at my parents’ relationship on a deeper level.
Real relationships doesn’t only focus on the romantic things. The true meaning of being in a relationship is to continually choose to be with that one person everyday. It is about standing by that person who will fight with you or for you through the toughest of times. It is about giving second chances and third and fourth and millions of it. It is about forgiving and trusting. It is cherishing every moment spent together, even the boring ones. The true magic lies on the decision that you make, staying and working on what you have been dealt with, no matter what it is.
I almost lost someone very special because I wanted to direct my love story specifically as I wanted it to be. I tried to perfect every detail that I ended up screwing everything. I may not have the same love story as my parents’ but I know it is good enough because it’s mine.
I hope we all learn to look at what’s in front of us and to appreciate the value of the relationships we have in our life.