This Is Where My Strength Comes From

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Strength. 

A positive quality valued immensely. But little did people know that strength comes with stories of heartbreaks, disappointments, pain and so much negativity. It is a word so simple yet it changes a person sometimes to the point of destroying them.

Life throws us mountains of obstacles in our lifetime. For some people, they get it harder than others. I won’t say I have overcome more than anyone else but judging from those around me, I think I have had my fair share of “growing up” even in my early adulthood.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not discrediting the poor, or the disadvantaged but what I am saying is that, while I may have grown up in a middle to upper class family, I have had experiences that I would not say many of my peers have had.

Long story short, over the years I have seen how this inner strength within me have manifested itself. It has tied me through times I thought I was going to indulge in my vices and allow my world to collapse. It has tied me through deaths of the closest people to me and it has brought me up as a pillar to people around me; my family.

I have also bore witness to watching this strength destroy my innocence, my ideals and every rainbow and unicorn that has existed in my mind and I am sure I am probably not on my own when I bring up the following baggages you get from being strong.

Strength comes from promises that were broken.

Broken promises, when it happens once, you are still hopeful it may not recur but when it happens too often, it leave you guarded and skeptical. You keep a distance from everyone who enters your life for fear of them making their exit when they promised you they would stay, then leaving you disappointed. So what other better way to avoid that disappointment is to grow detached to them and expect the worst so when shit goes south, you’d tell yourself you saw that coming and move on.

Strength comes from expectations.

When you have family, friends and people you hold high regards for expecting the best of you, you show no weakness because weakness may translate to failure in their minds (or that is mostly just your own perception). You stay strong no matter what life hits you with. Jobless? You get back up on your feet and find another. Got your heart broken? Cry and wallow but you are only allowed a few days because that’s what you do. You’re strong and you’d get back up on your feet faster than anyone else (because that is what is expected of you)

Strength comes from negativities.

You would have had to go through a spectrum of negativities to be strong. Some might have been bullied, some may have been bankrupt, basically the point is that there had to be one or many events that has brought you down in order for you to bring yourself back up this strong again. But what we may be missing is how jaded we have become. How much of the world we might have seen and sometimes being jaded means it takes more effort to be happy and positive.

Strength may be the only reason why many of us don’t stop to question why is life treating us this way and it is also the reason why we choose to grab life by the balls every single day and move on. Because we know, what is the worst that could happen? We will always be strong enough to pull through and if we are not, the only way is to get stronger.