They said you can never know the true meaning of love until you experience it. But most often than not, we fall into a situation where we thought we’re in love only to find out that it was all just a mistake. A mistake? Perhaps we simply fell into the common delusions that people have created about love. So, the next time you think you’re in love, make sure you haven’t fallen for these five misconceptions.
1. Love is a two-way street.
Most people believe that for a relationship to work, love should be equal on both sides. For something that is received, there should be a same exact amount to give in return. This leads to score keeping and frequent disappointments. Of course, it is unrealistic to expect an equally measured response in every gesture of affection. Reality teaches us that love is never fair and square. Most commonly, if not all, there is always one who loves more and gives more than the other; and that person is usually the one who first fell in love.
2. Love is all about rainbows and butterflies.
Whoever believes that love is always rainbows and butterflies is naive. Even fairy tales say love is about crossing the deepest seas, climbing the steepest mountains, and slaying the deadliest dragons. Although that sounds too fictive, it is indeed more of a roller-coaster ride. There are sporadic hard choices and sacrifices to make in the name of love. But despite that, it truly brings inspiration and delight – the reason why love is worth fighting for.
3. Love is destiny.
How often do we hear that love comes to those destined for each other? They said it is all about soul mates and destiny. But, if love is indeed ruled by this then, why do sparks grow dim and feelings fade? Why are there breakups and divorces? The reality is destiny decides who comes into our lives, but, it is up to us to choose whom to love and keep.
4. Loving means never letting go.
It is probably one of the most selfish statements ever uttered. Love is not a position to keep or to let go. Loving someone is supposed to be looking after what is best for the one you love. Like what the Indian Guru, Osho, said, “If you love a flower, don’t pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation”. So the next time you think of keeping someone, who isn’t happy with the relationship anymore, consider whether it is truly love that you are feeling because love is not self-seeking. Like the flowers, love needs nurturing not ownership.
5. Love knows no boundaries.
Yes, the Bible said, “love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”. But, it is often misunderstood. In a toxic relationship, for example, some people live like doormat kings or queens because they believe love is an unconditional sacrifice. Though that is true, we often fail to realize that the scripture also teaches us to love ourselves. There is a thin line between love and stupidity, and if you won’t be mindful enough, you can fall in the latter.
Love is indeed a complex thing and no one can truly delve into the deepness of its meaning. But as generations pass, we slowly learn its ways, handle its complexities, and uncover its mysteries. We live in an era where a “Romeo and Juliet” romance is seldom found, if not gone. We know better than our ancestors, thus we have a duty to prove it, or would we rather be the next victim of love?