11 Reasons Why Having Big Boobs Actually Sucks

Before you pay thousands of dollars to have Christina Hendricks boobs or grieve over the ones you have, understand the consequences.
Mad Men
Mad Men

1. Finding a good-fitting and cute bra is nearly impossible. All those sexy and petite bras at Victoria’s Secret? Yeah, they won’t fit. With gigantic boobs, you have to settle for the thick-strapped, four-clips-on-the-back, grandma bras that actually support your breasts! And unfortunately, they don’t make these bras in lace, hot pink or cheetah print.

2. Finding a bikini top that doesn’t make you look like a whore is also nearly impossible. Swimsuit season? More like accidentally-flash-everyone-at-the-beach season. Well to begin, we can just eliminate all strapless bikini tops. Unless you don’t mind being topless when a wave hits you or when you swim an inch in water. We can also eliminate all the typical triangle bikini tops because those only cover your nipples and tend to leave under-boob spillage. We also have to stay away from any padded or push up swim tops because we obviously already have enough to fill. At this point, we are pretty much left with nothing. And if you’re actually lucky enough to find a bikini top that is cute and fits well, it will most likely cost $50 or more.

3. You can’t wear bandeaus. Those things are so darn cute, in style, and show off that flat tummy you’ve been working at! Too bad you can’t wear them. You would need a strapless bra underneath for obvious reasons, and if you wear that, it just looks bulky and flat-out ridiculous.

4. You have to get a large even though you have an extra small waist. This usually leads to baggy shirts and so everything makes you look fatter than you really are.

5. Exercising, and any physical activity for that matter, is an annoyance.  When you run, your boobs will run with you. When you do yoga, you will often find your face smooched by your boobs. When you jump, swim, dance, or do literally anything with your body, your boobs WILL be a problem.

6. Boob sweat. Sweating anywhere is gross, but boob sweat is the worst! Under-boob sweat is an awful part of summer and trickling-down-your-cleavage sweat is a close second.

7. While you’re at the beach, lying down is practically impossible. If you lay face down, you will create two nice holes in the sand and if you lay face up, you’re at risk of suffocation by your own boobs.

8. You are limited as to what dresses you can purchase. Oh, so you found an adorable backless dress? Now, did you find a backless bra that works for you? No? Darn… I’ll be sure to cry with you during the Oscars red carpet.

9. You can’t wear button-down shirts. There is nothing worse than gaps at your boob area. It’s like being semi-naked. The worst is when your boobs decide to unbutton your shirt on their own and you don’t even realize it.

10. Anything you wear looks sexual. Literally anything. This may not sound like a bad thing but it really is when you’re trying to dress up for church, work, or you know, just trying to be a modest person…

11. Men like you for all the wrong reasons. It’s as if they see big boobs and forget you have an awesome personality that’s worth getting to know. But this is something I’ll have to write a whole other article on… TC mark

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