The existence of Facebook and Twitter and maybe even the Internet in general made it nearly impossible to get over the first person who ever broke my heart.
Even when I started dating other people, I still found myself wandering over to his Facebook page, Twitter page and website to “see how he was doing” when in reality, I probably just wanted to see how he was doing without me. My Internet stalking was unhealthy and destructive and I still did it – maybe because I felt like I had nothing better to do, considering I had allowed my whole life to revolve around him at one point.
When I was in middle and high school, I simply didn’t have access to the things that allow us to stalk and obsess ourselves into madness. If a dude made me cry, I wrote in my journal, watched a romantic comedy, and moved the fuck on. It was wonderful.
So here are 18 things you could do instead of stalking your ex online:
1. Read a good book.
Get off your sorry ass, and go to a bookstore. Start browsing. Find something that interests you more than your ex-boyfriend’s new haircut. I promise you there is a whole world of things more interesting than that.
2. Get a job.
A hard one. A mentally stimulating one. One that leaves you no time or energy to type your ex’s name into the Facebook search bar before falling asleep at night.
3. Bake. Cook. Set something on fire.
Sounds fun, right?
4. Make a comprehensive list of goals.
Number one: Stop Facebook stalking everyone.
5. Take a trip.
Go somewhere you’ve always wanted to go, and leave your laptop and tablet at home.
6. Make a playlist of songs that have one common theme.
Sad songs, angry songs, motivational songs, songs that only you and your friends can appreciate…whatever you fancy.
7. Date someone else.
Date someone far more interesting than a Facebook page that has had the same profile picture for 9 months.
8. Get hooked on a TV series.
Preferably one that’s really long and already has about 17 seasons for you to sink your teeth into.
9. Take a class.
Fill your mind with something useful.
10. Rearrange your living space.
Maybe you just need a change of scenery. And you’ll be too excited about copying Apartment Therapy to even think twice about whether or not your ex has posted any passive aggressive tweets about you.
11. Hang out with people who still give a shit.
Take your mom and dad out to lunch. Buy concert tickets for you and your best friend. Spend a few days with your grandmother out in the middle of nowhere.
12. Fill up your tank, go for a drive, and see where you end up.
Just don’t “end up” in any bad neighborhoods, okay?
13. Do the thing you’ve been promising yourself you’d do for the past 6 weeks.
Do the thing. Do it.
14. Adopt a pet.
Dogs are cuter than boyfriends, and cats are more entertaining than your ex’s pretentious political rants with total strangers.
15. Have a photoshoot at a scenic location in your hometown.
I’ve done this. It’s fun.
Join a gym. Check out a local pool. Go for a walk. Slouching on the couch and looking at pictures of your ex won’t make you feel any better about yourself.
17. Start a blog.
Write about your feelings and opinions so you can make other people feel less alone (or perhaps angry and offended).
18. Block your ex.
Makes sense, right? Of course you can always unblock them when you calm down if you don’t want to seem petty. But then again, who cares how you seem? You do what you gotta do.