An Open Letter To My Future Daughter, From A Future Mother

image - Flickr / magdalena
image – Flickr / magdalena

Dear future daughter,

When you’re in high school, please just promise me you’ll study. I don’t want to say it’s easy..but it’s easy. I remember more tests that I failed, than the parties I went to instead of studying. School really is more important than your high school sweetheart and the friends that will come and go. I’m sorry to say, and I know you probably won’t believe me, but you and your boyfriend will inevitably break up. And when that happens, I don’t want you to look back and realize that he should not have been your priority. I want you to get acceptance letters to every college you apply to. So that when your classmates are posting on Facebook every Ivy League acceptance they get, you too can post yours. This will be far more important than posting your relationship status. Please, stay in and study instead of going to the party. Tell your friends and boyfriend that you will see them right after the test, and I promise you won’t regret it.

Get involved in your high school. Don’t be too cool for things like school dances or class elections. You’re not too cool, and you’ll one day realize that cool has no explicit definition. There are many versions of it. But the version you think is cool won’t get you in your school year book. When you look back at this book you’ll want to be proud of the clubs you joined and events you attended. This stuff matters more than you think.

If you don’t like the way your body looks, either do something about it, or learn to accept it. But do not spend years hating the way you look in the mirror. If you think your fat or think there is room for improvement, then stop eating chips and pizza everyday for lunch. Ask me for a gym membership and start working out. You’re body will never be perfect and that is perfectly okay. The important thing is to be confident, and if eating healthy and working out makes you feel better, than do it. Or learn to love yourself exactly the way you are. Either way, don’t spend another minute hating yourself.

Do not ever let a boy control you. You think he’s worth it, but he’s not. I know you want him back even though he broke your heart, but you have to just let him go. I hate to tell you this, but there isn’t anything you can do to get him back. And anything you try will make you look weak and desperate and he’ll run in the other direction. Learn to love the relationship for what it was, accept the bad, repair your heart, and move on. There really are more boys out there if you just give yourself the chance to see them.

With that being said, fall in love. I will never stop you from experiencing this. Just pick a boy who makes you a better person. Someone who motivates and inspires you. Water finds its level, so raise your bar. Do not settle.

I know it’s bias coming from me, your mother, but sometimes I am right. Please listen to me. I admire you for your willfulness, you got it from me, and it will get you far in life, but more times than not, just let me be right. I want nothing but the best for you. I want to see you succeed more than anyone else in your life. Your happiness is my happiness. So any advice I tell you is for your own good. I will never try and ruin your life, so don’t use that excuse on me. It’s hard to believe now, but one day you’ll wish you had listened to me.

Find a hobby. Find something that get’s you up in the morning. I’m not saying it will be easy to find, but I am saying you must actively search for it. Explore everything because you never know what might catch your interest. This is important. A hobby will keep you entertained, excite you, and make you a more interesting person. And some day when it’s time to pick a career, your hobby might end up being your job. And then work will be that something you look forward to every morning. And even if your job isn’t your hobby and you hate it, you’ll have something to look forward to afterwards.

Keep a journal. You don’t have to write in it everyday, just every time you feel the need to write down how you’re feeling. Or when something big happens in your life. Years later this journal will be your favorite memorabilia. Pictures are nice too, but nothing compares to raw faded ink.

Don’t feel bad if you only have a handful of friends. Most likely these handful of friends will be more loyal and lasting than people with dozens of friends. It’s far more important to have a few great friends, than a lot of mediocre ones. And with that being said, choose your friends wisely. Once again, water finds it’s level. The friends you choose will shape you. Make sure they are people who you respect. People who you aspire to be.

There are always going to be girls that you think have it better than you. And I won’t lie, some probably do. There are going to be girls that have a bigger house than you, go on better vacations, drive nicer cars, and have better clothes. But there are also girls that have it worse than you. Life is about perspective. Please do not define yourself by the girls you wish you could be. Happiness is wanting what you already have. You are amazing and beautiful and no net worth can tell you any differently.

However, if you want more in life than work for it. If you want a big house, nice car, and expensive jets that take you on extravagant vacations than by all means do whatever it takes to earn them. If that is what motivates you to work hard and chase your dreams than more power to you. But laziness won’t get you what you want. And if you aren’t going to be proactive, then stop self deprecating and learn to love your life the way it is. Do not pity yourself, it will do nothing but waste your time.

Baby, your life is whatever you want to make of it. My advice to you is to live in the now. Everyone has the same twenty four hours in a day, but not everyone makes the most of them. Every decision you make will affect your future. Make them wisely. And as much as you should stay present in the now, don’t forget about the future. Keep it as a subtle reminder of how you should live today.

Always be honest. Laugh a lot. Discover your favorite book. Have a favorite song. A favorite holiday. A favorite season. Love a lot. Hug a lot. Smile often. Be yourself. Be confident. Be ambitious. Be interesting. Be someone you’ll be proud of tomorrow.

Love Always,

Your future mom. TC mark

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