1. Tell them about how much you love porn and impress them with your knowledge of all of the adult stars. Focus mainly on Sasha Grey, because not only is she a badass, but also she has good taste in music and likes to read.
2. Rarely text them first, because that would make you “thirsty.” Boys want to feel like they’re men and in control.
3. Disregard number two completely on Friday nights. Text them first and demand them to hangout with you. Teenage boys are super into being versatile these days – but most of them would just like to be dominated.
4. Dress like Barbwire meets Dora the Explorer. Wear lots of cutesy-cropped tops with fishnets and loads of black eye makeup that says “I don’t need you like you need me. But I want you.” Boys won’t be able to get your meth addict eyes out of their wet dreams!
5. Show them your sweet side on every other Tuesday. Make them a cd with a mix of both indie and hood rat music, or try shooting them a cute text saying something like “wish you were here right now :).” This way they know that you don’t hate them.
6. Make out with all of their friends! Or maybe even their little and/or older brother and/or sister!
7. Constantly speak with a baby voice, even when you’re “acting like a bitch” because you no longer like his favorite rapper(s) anymore and you no longer want to give him blowjobs (you should not be giving him head if you want him to hate you…or if you DO choose to give him head, make sure that you use lots of teeth!) Baby voices do not enable boners.
8. Never text/call/message/poke them back and make up stupid excuses like “Sorry, I’m sad.” At first they will be intrigued and will want to try to fix you, which is annoying as hell, but if you keep this up, they will eventually become so insecure about themselves that they’ll have to find someone else to boost their confidence for them.
9. Tell them that you love them and whine whenever they don’t hangout/answer you. If you fluctuate between this and the previous step, they will think you are insane, which is the goal here, really!