Lenny Kravitz’ loud new single “Come On Get It” hit the airwaves last week, and if you really listen, you’ll hear how raw it sounds against the whining and crooning all the other male pop singers do. This serious hard-funk joint, equal parts Sly Stone, James Brown, and Jimi Hendrix, pries open mid-sentence with a roaring saxophone and pulsating guitars.
So you’re kind of on the verge of going up to the machine and just typing in all the stuff for him because, at this point, you have all the screens and selections memorized. In order. You don’t even read them, really, you just punch in the info before the machine asks for it because you’ve done this so many times.
Lady Gaga’s latest magnum opus hit the airwaves today and the Internet did not collapse, thankfully. But after playing the thing on repeat over the past few hours, I’m a little disappointed. Only a little, though!
Not one to miss out on all the action, this week Sprint unveiled its latest smartphone at a swanky press conference in New York. Their new device — the Kyocera Echo — is a 3.5-inch Android phone, which will run Android 2.2 (Froyo), 1GB of internal memory, and work like a Wi-Fi hotspot. The little dude comes with both a 5-megapixel camera and a 720p HD camcorder, so you can record your sex tapes in high definition.
Next is a message from white4latinoass that, admittedly, isn’t that creative a screen name and I’m not that into racial stereotyping so I’m already put off. Read his profile. Dude’s into crystal meth and that kind of freaks me out so I don’t say anything back. Bro gets exed out.
Basically you just wasted a whole day on that one apartment. Call your parents. Tell them getting an apartment is like trying to get accepted to Harvard. Ask them—plead— can you just buy me a place? Forget it. Call your best friend Max, tell him what happened. He’s like, Bro, you gotta use a broker.
Then there were the Screen Tests, those beautiful, constantly moving cinematic portraits of Andy’s favorite people. Edie Sedgwick was there. Lou Reed and Allan Ginsberg, too. Baby Jane Holzer brushed her teeth over and over for us, an erotic gesture in its own way.
Are you a dude who thinks regular underwear don’t do your package justice? Tired of going to the gym and doing that thing where the frame of your johnson just doesn’t peek enough through the fabric of your gym shorts/sweats, making it harder and harder for you to flirt with that girl you always see on the treadmill?
Dyson Kilodavis is a young Lady Gaga 5 year old kid who wears women’s clothes and, specifically, dresses like a princess. Doesn’t that sound fun! The “Princess Boy” came to America’s attention this week due to his appearance on a number of talk shows, where he wore a series of fabulous tutus, sequins and other bedazzled items.
Get admitted to Harvard College before any of your non-black friends. They don’t get into Harvard, Yale, or Princeton, are stuck with Washington University (a much lesser school). Tell you it’s all your fault. They were National Merit Scholars. They did community activism in Botswana. They got a perfect score on the SATs. They went Le Rosey in Switzerland but then transferred to Dalton (a $250,000 education).