The hardest thing about falling in love is letting yourself go, allowing yourself to be open to love. Maybe you were hurt badly last time and you vowed to never go through that kind of pain again. Or maybe you tell yourself you don’t want a boyfriend or girlfriend right now. You’re focusing on your art, or your career or school or whatever so you just don’t “have time.”
But you can always make time for the things you want to do, the same way you make time to watch 5 episodes of Homeland in a row when you have a paper due. There’s always “time,” if you want it. The single life is great, and its likely you really do just want to be single. But you probably also say you don’t “have time” because you don’t want to get hurt again.
Don’t let your past love life damage how you can love in the future. You have to be open to love to get love.
I used to believe I didn’t deserve love. Who would want me, I thought. I’m sort of fucked up. But we’re all fucked up. No matter how perfect he seems or how high a pedestal you put him on, he’s got issues. Trust me. He’s got a “thing.” He’s got something he’s working through and you already know what it is, which is why people say things like “You know me better than I know myself.” Falling in love with someone means that they see your neuroses and they love you anyway. They take you just the way you are.
I’ve learned that you fall in love with the right people at the right time in your life, even if they’re the wrong person for the rest of your life. People come into our lives for a reason, whether that reason is to give us a little bit of perspective, to show us how great things could really be with someone we really care about or to show us what we should try to avoid. You may not even know why until after you break up, but in any case its no mistake that you end up with the people you do, even if it doesn’t last. If it doesn’t work out the key is to try to learn something from them to push your love life forward.
It’s never too late to fall in love. The more you fall in love the more you learn what love is.