1. This is what you look like going to get some eggs at the grocery.
2. Being flawless means you don’t believe in trends. You know you can wear whatever you want at any time!
3. There’s no greater horror than wearing a new outfit that nobody notices until the third time you wear it. By then it’s not even new anymore but, whatever, you still look cute.
4. You know it doesn’t take a lot of money to look great. It’s all about creativity!
5. That said…you do still have one or two investment pieces.
6. Using the term “investment piece” at all to rationalize spending two months rent on that Givenchy dress.
7. The more ridiculous a piece is the better. A lampshade as a hat? Why not! So what if you can’t see out of it. Fashion, fashion, fashion!
8. Deciding what to pack is actually the WORST. You’re only going to be gone for like three days but you have two weeks worth of clothes. You “might” wear that sequin bolero. And oooooh what about this little number. How could you travel anywhere without your favorite heels even if you don’t wear them? Options, people, options!
9. The rush of excitement when you find something fabulous at the store and gasp “qu’est-ce que c’est!” or talk to it like it’s a person. “Look at you, aren’t you cute!”
10. The horror of buying something expensive that’s now on sale. 50 TEARS OF LANVIN AND RICE FOR DINNER FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS.
11. It takes you forever to get ready because you have to try on 39 different looks before you’re satisfied. Even are you walk out the door you’re all, “Ugh, I should have worn that other thing.”
12. When you specifically go out shopping for a new look to wear this weekend and actually end up wearing something you already have. FAIL.
13. There are things in your closet you have honestly never worn, literally ever. But you tell yourself you will wear it “some day.” Options!
14. You definitely have a pair of “fashiony” shoes and you’ve perfected the art of transitioning from flats to fashion and back.
15. The horror of having to take off all your accessories and bangles and rings and pumps and lace fronts to go through airport security. So you’ve mastered the going-through-airport-security-but-I-still-look-cute outfit.