21 People Share What They Would Do If Trapped In An Airport For Seven Hours Without Wifi

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1. Well this seems like an excellent use of time

All those kegels that people on the Internet have been telling me to do for a few minutes a day since 1996.[stabmeinthehat]

2. People watch…I guess?

I have done this before. I made a mistake when booking a connecting flight. Did not see the AM vs PM on the flights. Was stuck for over seven hours. I walked around a lot…checking out the newsstand stores several times…but mostly people watching. The mix and variety of people at an airport is awesome.[mrsheikh]

3. But it’s like now probably the best place to talk about bombs. Just a thought.

Play minesweeper on my phone until I get taken away by security because I yelled, “How the fuck is that a bomb?”[trollgiggity]

4. Reminds me of a Bret Easton Ellis novel

Eat four anti anxiety pills and take a 7 hour coma. [the_scarf_chokes]

5. Enjoy the moment!

Walk. Walk everywhere. Go to every single shop and fuck around. Try find the most ludicrously expensive watch. Try out all the items in every store. Watch the aeroplanes. Watch all the different people. Dream of where your going. Listen to whole albums of music. Read books. Think a lot. This doesn’t sound like much, but you see awesome stuff. Like at a stop over in Singapore I came across this random elephant stature that was painted like a Ferrari and was signed by the whole Ferrari F1 team. Airports are great! Just try to enjoy it and not focus on killing time. [bettertrends]

6. But what does the winner get?

Play the airport scavenger hunt. Find…A person or people crying. Two people kissing. A person running. (About to miss a flight) A dog. A kid on a leash. A team of some sort traveling together. A nun or priest. Bonus if both or together. A professional athlete or celebrity. That one’s tough if you live some place boring. Someone on one of those new two wheels e-scooters. A person being escorted by security or causing a scene. [otivito]

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7. If you can’t beat ’em…drink

I had to wait at London Heathrow for 5 hours. Went to the Whisky section and asked the staff if I could try some. Mann, I got so fricking wasted…..10/10 would do again. I eventually bought a Talisker Dark Storm. Damn that’s some fine droplet. [gorilla_bodylotion]

8. Watch out — he’s gonna blow!

Go buy some smut from the news stand and then sit in a commode and edge it for seven hours. Mmm… too good.[lv426_janitor]

9. Keepin’ it old school, ya’ll

Buy a book and read it.[slothythesloth]

10. Still old school…

You damn kids and your Wi-Fi and youtube. Back in my day I would simply watch planes take off. You whipper-snappers don’t appreciate how good goddamn amazing that is.[True_American1912]

11. Ever wondered what would happen in you drank coffee for 7 hours straight?

A few months ago I was waiting for my return flight from China and ended up having to wait 13 hours in the airport. I was very bored and so for the first hour or two I listened to music on my mp4 player, until I got bored. At a loss for anything else to do.. I got a great idea. What if I just started drinking coffee and never stopped? So I went to every coffee shop in the airport, ordering 4 extra large black coffee’s from each, and rotating back to the first shop once I had finished my route. I must have spent over $200 on coffee that day. At first I was incredibly hyper and running laps of the airport, going back and forth, and taking frequent trips to the bathrooms. It was actually really fun. I just had a huge sense of happiness and energy. After about my tenth cup I started to feel very weird though. Still had lots of energy but I was…dizzy for lack of a better word. Very shaky too. It was like I was a vibrator set to “on”. I didn’t let that phase me though and kept going with my experiment. I ran around doing whatever I could. Riding the elevator up, riding the elevator down, sprinting to the other side of the airport so I could take the escalator up, then climb back down the wall. I know this doesn’t necessarily sound fun, but I was in a very non-sober state. It was fun; trust me. Before I knew it I started getting a huge headache and feeling trippy and things were blending together. I have a lot of experience with drugs so I wasn’t worried. I kept going.
The airport clerks (or whatever you call them) had started noticing my odd behavior and were keeping a watchful eye on me. I decided to try my hardest not to sprint everywhere. So I found a nice secluded corner of the airport and turned my music back on, and had a personal dance party for a few hours. All the while I am making frequent stops back at coffee shops when I finish the coffee currently in my hand. (I was ordering the coffee cold so I could chug it faster). Soon I start to feel really sick and decide I’ve had enough. I still have energy radiating out of my fingertips, but I don’t feel like moving. So I just sit down in a chair and stair out at the runway. My bowels are completely screwed up. Finally it is time to get on my flight, and I am relieved. But it’s a 14 hour flight back home with no stops. I have a window seat. Being the polite idiot that I am, I don’t take a single bathroom break because I don’t want to ask the people beside me to stand up. When I get back to Canada I can barely walk…I’m trying so hard to keep my excrement inside of me. (And also my body feels numb). I find a toilet and just sit there for a long time. Surprisingly I can’t seem to go #2, even though I REALLY have to. So I get my suitcase, have my dad drive me home, and then unload in my bathroom. tl;dr I drank A LOT of coffee. 8/10 would not do it again.[wccghtyz]

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12. First world problems

Dude, what did you do before relying on WiFi? [exproxy]

13. Get your philosophy on

Ruminate on the shortcomings of capitalism. [negusbrethren]

14. Collected data about hot women

Create a scientific survey. Sit down in a high traffic area. Get a piece a paper and pen. Write down the start time, watch women. Make a hash mark every time you see a hot chick. Do this for 7 hours. Get an average per hour. Write about your findings on the average amount of hot chick’s in an airport you’ll see within a hour. [zynthesis1981]

15. So many people would masturbate…But like why “furiously” tho?

Masturbate furiously in the bathroom. [Issac_Thorne]

16. If you can’t beat ’em, fuck

Make conversation with someone and convince them to have sexual relations with you.[lilmagicmanjws]

17. Sometimes gotta hustle!

Sell my mixtape

[yokiashi]

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18. Sometimes you just gotta be practical

Do squats for 7 hrs. You’ll be ripped by the end. [wahots]

19. Make a video

20. Just don’t drunk shop!

Drunk shopping is a dangerous thing so stay away from shops once you start your drinking.[av607]

21. And when all else fails…

Find a lounge. Pay $25-50 for access. Drink all the alcohol you want. Eat all you want. Use their wifi. [dobabeswe]

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