1. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. If there’s one thing people spend more time on than they should it’s pretending to be someone they’re not. Maybe you’re trying impress your boyfriend or girlfriend, or maybe you’re just trying to hide a piece of you that you’re sort of embarrassed about. The thing is, everyone loves you for you, not for being who you think they want you to be. I’ve had to learn this lesson the hard way, and I got really good at hiding certain parts of my personality. But now I just say fuck it. If someone deserves to be in your life then you should give them the real deal.
2. Understand that failure makes you stronger. Nobody likes to fail. We’re always told to be our best, to do our best, to succeed. But sometimes you have to fail to realize how much harder you need to work. If you succeeded at everything all the time, how would you know where to improve? How would you know you were any good? Failure isn’t always about you, and most of the time it just means you should work a little harder or a bit differently. Think of failure as a chance to reboot and regroup. You’ll get there eventually.
3. Ditch the fear of going out alone. There’s almost nothing greater than enjoying a movie by yourself, a nice brunch and a couple of cocktails by yourself, going to the bar or to the club by yourself. But if you’re out alone people automatically feel sorry for you because they think you haven’t got any friends or anything. I was once at a club sitting by myself and this girl came over to me and started talking to me because “she was so sad that I was alone.” But I was feeling quite fabulous, really. I’m not afraid of being by myself. Fear of doing something alone is really a fear of being seen alone with yourself. But you’re going to be alone most of the time in life. Learn to enjoy time with yourself so you know that you can get along just fine with only you.
4. Get rid of all the negativity in your life. Believe it or not, negativity can come from a number of places — yourself, the person you’re seeing, your surroundings. You’ll never meet your maximum potential if you’re always surrounded by people telling you what you can’t or shouldn’t do. You can do anything you want, and anyone you chose to include in your life should support you and all of your wacky ideas, even if they’re the first person to be like “I told you so” if you fail. But failure is there to help you grow, not to hurt you.
5. Know that the riskier option is nearly always the most exciting one. People are really afraid to take risks. I don’t mean risks like using the pull out method or going to an anonymous sex party in the dark. I mean things like a sudden job offer in a brand new city, quitting that job you hate and starting a business you always wanted to start, a promising date with someone who “isn’t your type,” or anything else you can do that would challenge you. Taking measured risks can pay off big time by giving you cool experiences you wouldn’t have had otherwise and by exposing you to new things. If the risk fails at least you’ll have a great story to tell.
And what’s the point of living if you don’t have a lifetime of amazing stories?