1. You really did not need to dye your hair that blonde to get people’s attention. Seriously, girl. No!
2. All those times you pretended to be foreign to get into 21+ gay clubs in San Francisco? Child, you weren’t fooling anybody.
3. Your longest relationship — 5.5 years — will come crashing down before your eyes and it will take you more than a year to recover. It will be okay. You will be okay.
4. Remember how obsessed you were with James Franco since that TNT James Dean biopic? Well, you’re going to meet The Franco in a coffee shop and you’re not even going to realise it’s him you idiot.
5. It doesn’t matter how many times you come out as gay. You never come out just once. Being gay means a lifetime of comings out.
6. You’re going to feel insecure because all your friends get hit on at the bar but you never will. Don’t feel sad. Guys like you, I promise!
7. That time you had a bone-straight weave? Girl all the way bye.
8. You do not have to watch so much porn!
9. People will like you for who you already are. You don’t need to be a character from a television show to get people to like you. Queer As Folk is not real life.
10. When you leave college put grad school off for a while. Move straight to Berlin. Do not come back.
11. Flying isn’t that scary. Stop taking the bus everywhere!
12. You didn’t need to spend all that time trying to fit in.
13. Don’t be too afraid to pursue your dreams because you think you don’t deserve it.
14. You should have never listened to that violin teacher who told you you would never make it.
15. One day you will be able to talk to other gay dudes on a screen on your phone and you will even be able to see how close they are to you right now! They are going to ask for pictures of your dick. Do not send.
16. Learn to DJ sooner!!!!
17. Don’t date the same guy over and over.
18. A broken heart is OK. You will learn to love again.
19. Learn to forgive yourself sooner for all the stupid mistakes you’ll make. It’s the only way you’ll grow as a person.
20. Your best friends are probably your soul mates. They tell it like it is, see through your bullshit and love you anyway. Don’t fuck it up.
21. It doesn’t necessarily get better, but you do.