1. How to craft the perfect excuse when you actually don’t feel like going to that dinner party and would prefer to spend Friday night alone with a box of pizza and a dildo.
2. That “staying in” doesn’t mean you’re being lazy or not doing something amazing and interesting.
3. At home you’re totally surrounded by food you already like!
4. No need to worry about getting a 45-minute night bus home. Going out is always more fun that rolling back home at 4am drunk, crying and having to wait forever for a damn bus home.
5. You can have a party with yourself! Open up Spotify and put on the music you already know you like. No need to be like, “Ugh, this DJ sucks.”
6. YOUR BED IS AMAZING AND IT’S RIGHT THERE FOR YOU.
7. Staying in on Friday is the perfect time to binge watch a new show, especially if you’ve got some people over to binge with you.
8. If there’s a cuisine you’re in the mood for you can have it delivered!
9. When you’re at home you can be a complete slob. You can walk around barefoot and in your underwear or completely naked.
10. You can wash your hair!
11. You’re going to save so much money by staying in tonight. Seriously, with all the money spent on drinks for you and your friends and on the bus or food or taxis you’ve probably spent $100 minimum. Think about how much money you’re saving by staying in!
12. Friday night is the lamest night to go out because everybody goes out then. Wack.
13. That half the other people who said they were going out didn’t go out either.
14. If you go out you’ll be paying $7 for watered down drinks when you could get a WHOLE bottle of wine to drink all by yourself.
15. Beyoncé is not going to be there so why should I even bother actually?
16. Fighting your hangover on Saturday is worse than fighting it on Sunday.
17. It’s the best night to tell someone, “Oh, I didn’t see your text I was out!” when you respond to them Saturday afternoon.
18. It’s the only time you could get an appointment at the salon!
19. You’re not missing anything because you’ll probably go out tomorrow anyhow.