1. The ones, allergic to soap and water, who never wash the dishes, like, at all ever. They leave the kitchen so gross you would rather eat out every day than deal with it. You know what? We are all busy and we all have lives and things to do and places to be and people to sleep with. But we also like to eat food out of clean bowls!
2. A performing artist roommate who starts the morning by blaring loud music when everyone else is trying to sleep probably. I get it, music gets you turnt up. Girl, get your life! But can you not start screaming Christina Aguilera lyrics at 9:30 on Saturday morning? Queen please!
3. The ones who are really non-social. Are they actually even people? They never leave their rooms, they never talk to you in common spaces.
4. A roommate who forces you to keep your own secret supply of toilet paper in your room because they never buy any at any time.
5. Highly virile roommates who have really annoying sex. Not loud sex but annoying sex. There is a difference.
6. The extremely considerate roommate who does that thing where when the trash can is full they dangle a supplementary plastic bag on the refrigerator door because they refuse to take out the bin that is already full.
7. The starving artist roommate who eats your food or uses your stuff but like tries to play it off like they haven’t touched it at all — like using your toothpaste but never closing the cap. One time I bought a bottle of vitamin water and went to grab it from the fridge and saw that someone had opened it and took a sip from it — like just a single sip. Is this even real?
8. A disillusioned roommate who doesn’t understand privacy and does things like take poops with the bathroom door open #CANTUNSEE.
9. An emotionally lost roommate who forces you to take down your favorite Britney Spears/Backstreet Boys poster because it is against her religion.