On Big Black Cocks

“How big is your dick?” I remember someone asking me in a chatroom on gay.com way back when. “I bet it’s huge.”

Of course, I was in a gay.com chatroom, not exactly the place for talking about fingernail polish and high school science projects. Sex talk is par for the course, especially in the gay male sexual economy where dicks and dick size are often talked about within the first 5 messages. It’s like, everyone wants to know how big everybody is or else you’re not worth talking to.

So anyway, this guy is asking me how big my thing is.

“Why?” I ask even though I know exactly where this is going.

“Because u chocolate,” he actually says to me, for real, no joke.

E-Y-E-R-O-L-L.

I know that lots of people enjoy a nice, fat cock. A white gay friend of mine just told me that he’s more of a top but he will bottom for black guys, hashtag I CAN’T.

The problem with big black dicks isn’t the dick itself: it’s the gross racial stereotyping and fetishization that comes along with it, the assumption that all black men or all latino men or all arab men have monster cocks. The fact is some of them do, some of them don’t, and there are white guys and Asian guys and biracial guys and guys of all colors who have huge pieces. It’s not just black guys.

I was 18 and exploring my sexuality before heading off to college when I first heard the phrase “big black cock,” acronym “BBC,” which is something only white people say, let’s keep it real. I didn’t take offense to at the time because yay orgasms at 18, but over the years I’ve become increasingly frustrated with the way that black bodies are shown in nearly all pornography, gay and straight, and the way that some people approach black men as if the only thing going for us is our big black dicks, because every single black man on the face of the earth is HUUUUGE.

At a certain point, black men get used to being asked about their dicks by practically everyone else who isn’t black. They want to know how big it is. They want to document it. They make sly comments on how big they bet it is.

A friend of mine recently told me that he was trying to encourage a girlfriend of his to date a black guy so she could experience “the BBC.” He wanted her to expand her sexual palette, and ain’t nothing wrong with that. The thing is, for the past several months she’s been dating a black guy she really likes. She just met him, it’s not like she was on the hunt for “the BBC.” So now my friend and his friend both refer her boyfriend as “the BBC.”

Nothing wrong with liking huge dicks, or huge latino dicks, or huge black dicks, or huge asian dicks or whatever flavor dick gets you turnt up. Yesssss maaaaaam. The problem is when we objectify black man and reduce them down to penis size.

There is nearly no better image that captures the cultural obsession with BIG BLACK COCKS than the photographer Robert Mapplethorpe’s infamous (AND VERY NSFW) piece Man In A Polyester Suit. It’s basically a picture of a black guy in a suit with his huge uncut dick flopping through the dick flap. The thing is, we don’t know who this guy is, he has no head, he doesn’t have a name. Maybe this guy was uncomfortable having his face attached to his dick. Or maybe you can look closely at this piece and take it as an indication of the way that black dicks are almost always fetishized.

All desire is about objectification. That’s the nature of the beast. But when you fetishize a singular body part of a particular race, and when that’s your fetish, you can never get beyond the fetish, can you? You’re so focused on the dick (great!!!) but forget that that dick is attached to a person that has a brain, and a history, and a name, and feelings, and wants and desires of his own.

If you like big dicks and u cannot lie, wouldn’t it be great to date someone and discover that they more than met your needs in that department. The problem I have with the BBC industrial complex is that I worry people don’t date big black dicks. Big black dicks are nothing more than a vacation destination, a site of tourism, a ride you sample and move on. TC mark

image – Shutterstock

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