1. Where There’s Love, There’s Trust
Trust is one of the most important pieces of any healthy relationship. It takes a long while to build, but once it’s there it should be there for good. There aren’t many relationships that can stand the the test of broken trust, though there are ways you can repair it. The Catch-22, of course, is that if the bond of trust is gone, then there are probably a host of other issues that need to be dealt with. And maybe you’re so sick and tired of dealing with issues in the first place that all that’s left is to just let them go.
2. You’re A Different Person Now
People are like destination points: we’re never fully static, allowing ourselves to move and mold and grow as we get older, mature, and have increased life experiences. Hopefully by the time you get into a relationship with someone you’re both watching each other grow together, and you’re proud and excited to see them reach their potential. On the other hand, if one of you changes too fast or too dramatically, then that can wreak havoc on your relationship, which leads to one of you telling the other, “I’m not even sure I know you anymore,” which is the worst thing anyone can say to you. You probably still love your partner and want to be with her or him forever, but sometimes life goals and the way we grow can spread you further apart than you actually want to be.
3. Maybe You Just Got Bored
I’m not sure all relationships are a riot 100% of the time, but the point is that there are plenty more good times and fun times to outweigh the bad ones. If you’re not careful, if there’s too much silence, you might get bored, and no relationship can last if one or more of you is bored. Spice it up!
4. Communication Is Key
When your boyfriend or girlfriend asks you “what’s wrong,” they want an answer, not for you to say “nothing” when clearly something is bothering you. They can tell. They share a bed with you. They eat dinner with you. They are an expert in you, which means that it’s really difficult to keep your feelings to yourself when they can tell something’s up. If you don’t want to lose the love of your life, talk to them, no matter how scared you are to do it, no matter what you imagine the ramifications will be. Losing her or him because you didn’t talk to them is probably the worst outcome, one you were trying to avoid all along. What is it they say? Never go to bed angry.
5. Too Much Jealousy Is A Bad Thing
Jealousy in the context of a relationship is fine because it lets you know that you have something good you definitely don’t want to lose. But there comes a time when jealousy is too overbearing, and you feel like you don’t get to be you and instead are trying to manage the jealousy of your partner. She questions you every time you look at another girl or he wonders where you are all the time. But see, this is where communication is key. Tell your partner if you are feeling suffocated or if their jealousy is getting out of hand. At least it’s out in the open, and at least they’ll know that they have some work to do. Relationships aren’t easy.
6. You Start To Resent Them
You should never let your relationship get to a point where you start to resent the other person. If you start to resent them there’s almost no coming back. They did something that you can’t forgive, or won’t be able to forgive for a long time, or they have a personality trait that now bugs the shit out of you, or they make you feel a certain type of way, or whatever it is. Once you resent a person your relationship is as good as cooked. But this is where communication comes into play: if only we talked about the way we feel, maybe we wouldn’t get to the point of resentment in the first place.
7. Because Life Happens
No matter what plans you have for yourself or where you think you’re going, sometimes life throws you a curveball and suddenly your entire course of direction is dramatically changed. Maybe you get seriously ill or land a job that will put you in another state or on another coast, or get into a graduate school in a different time zone, or maybe you feel like you need some time for self-discovery. In this case it’s less that you don’t love them anymore and more that sometimes life happens and you have to roll with the punches.